Daughter of Eden's Eve

Christmas

2011-12-28T12:26:00.001-05:00

This Christmas was a wonderful time full of our new family traditions, fun with friends and enjoying simplicity.

From our family to yours, Happy Holidays!

Do I still Blog?

2011-09-26T15:10:00.002-04:00

I am asking myself this question and I don't know what the answer is! Things continue to happen in our life, but as they are happening, it sucks time to actually document them. These days are very busy!

I am treading water with many joys along the way. Still finding that sweet spot of balance and infrequently achieving it.

Some main points for us. Emmanuel now has a full time job at American Greetings. Olivia is so close to 2 years old that the temper tantrums decided to just go ahead and say hello. I am still working at GOJO and learning every day that my job does not define me or my attitude.

We just had our first ever family photo shoot so I will share some of the pictures once I get the CD. We had alot of fun and are excited to make this a regular event now!

Stay tuned, I promise not to leave blogging completely behind.

Brain Cells

2011-07-14T08:47:00.002-04:00

World War 111 is waging for my brain I am sure of it. No, I am not wearing a tin foil hat to protect my thoughts from aliens, not eating bottles of Ginko to rejuvinate my mind. Just takinga step back and realizing that mentally, emotionally and physically it makes sense that I am no longer the sharpest tack in the box.

Not to bemoan my current state, just to acknowledge. Diagnosis of Celiac, the stress at work, stress at home blah blah blah.

I used to come to work ready to tackle the day right into the ground and not leave until I had it in a choke hold. Now, I meander to my desk and sit there waiting for the clock to say 4:50. Yeah, I don't even stay until 5.

Part of this is due to the fact that I have spent the last 4 months thinking I was losing my job. Also being told every week "I am really not sure what to do with you,what did we hire you for?" That doesn't mentally stimulate anyone to do the tackling of the day!

I also am a mom now and I have to admit that a good portion of my brain cells are permanently now devoted to her. Thinking, planning and loving her even from a distance. I can't turn it off nor would I want to.

So this week needs an evaluation. I am no longer and fearful about losing my job, they seem to have remembered why they hired me and are letting me do the things I was destined to do. So now it is up to me to get my butt in gear and produce something worthwhile. Time to rev up all the bits of my knowledge and muster up what I used to have, initiation, ambition and drive.

Hello brain cells, I am coming for you.

Plans...what plans?

2011-07-09T12:07:00.002-04:00

This is what God looked down on my week and said. "You think you have plans...but I have THE plan." His is always perfect....His is always on time.

Nothing I thought would happen this week happened. But the positive side is that at the end, my family was healthy and happy and we got some quality moments in. Moments that are captured below.

Even my flower felt a little sad that our plans were ruined.

Nothing like some good toddler kisses to cheer you up!

Love this man....he puts a smile on my face.

Great visit with Dad and Imma.

Celebrating 5 years together with a waterfall and some breakfast. Can't wait to see what the next 5 will bring.

5 Years

2011-07-01T15:35:00.001-04:00

Let the party begin! We have a week vacation full of family, fun and travel. Pictures and details are promised.

So excited to be celebrating 5 years of wedded bliss.

Building Blocks

2011-06-15T10:27:00.002-04:00

I can chalk it up to the fact that I have a toddler, but when I envision my upcoming 20 minute presentation to a group of ladies, I see building blocks.

Every time I start my presentation in my head there they are. My stories center around the blocks, I see the blocks tumbling down and building back up.

I start on the PPT presentation this week and am excited to see how it materializes. This is usually how I work. Some image forms in my mind and grows into an idea, then the idea turns into a speech, paper or presentation.

I am getting excited!

Getting the Best of Me

2011-06-09T15:50:00.002-04:00

I am turning out to be a horrible sick person. Emmanuel came home to me crying my eyeballs out Tuesday night. I had cooked a beautiful dinner of fresh Salmon with tomato/cilantro pesto baked in. One of my favorite meals.

However- come to find out, the hard way, it was infused with gluten. Yep, you heard me right...they use gluten in the coloring and add coloring to make the salmon pink. SO FRUSTRATING.

Well, while I was doubled over like someone had kicked me in the gut, I indulged in a torrent of tears. I let all the frustration out with salt water. Kind of felt good to cry over it....

After that when the shakes started I just sniffled under my blanket and thanked God. It could be worse. It could be better, I did remind Him, but it could also be worse.

Ohio DL

2011-05-31T17:07:00.002-04:00

Sigh....double sigh....sigh, gasp, sigh again.

I had to relinquish my California drivers license today. It isn't that I hate Ohio, please don't' get me wrong. I just liked California better in some ways! It is like the damp,wet snow penetrated my bones this morning when they handed me my new pink OH DL.

I am officially...cold.

I missed 2 questions on my driving test. Something about bicycle rules and I choose a lower blood alcohol percentage than the legal limit. Moral of the story- I never drink and drive and what are bicycle rules doing on an automobile test anyway? Haha...

So at least now I am legal and my picture turned out pretty good!

Protein Bars and Shakes

2011-05-26T10:10:00.002-04:00

So the good news is that I am beginning to be quite healthy!!! Less pain, less hours spent in the bathroom, more energy, more smiles. As it turns out though, when one is not constantly sick, one starts to actually gain weight. Haha...A nice and welcome problem to have I assure you. NOT that I had gotten to be skin and bones, but there were quite a few consecutive months where I did not have to watch what I was eating.

Well I think those days are past. I am determined to lose 8 pounds. So I found some wonderful GF protein powder and bars on Amazon, subscribed to a monthly delivery and hopefully am on my way!

In relation to this topic, we received news that Olivia is currently negative for Celiac disease. I cried when I got the call. Such an answer to prayer. We will have to repeat this test once every year or two or if she becomes symptomatic, but for now she is able to eat whatever her little heart desires.

Stress = Mac Truck

2011-05-19T20:46:00.002-04:00

My Grandma Wise always prefaces certain statements with "If I get hit by a Mac truck tomorrow". I make the same statement at work sometimes if I am showing one of my employees a process or workflow that only I know. It is a horrible way of parting knowledge to someone. A graphic image of a messy and untimely death.

This phrase also comes into my conversation if I wake up feeling not particulary well. My college friend Nadia used to tell me that she felt bad for whoever married me because I always wake up looking horribly hungover. It is true= thankfully Emmanuel doesn't care that the "mac truck" hits his wife every night and he does not wake up to a wonderful sleeping beauty.

This week however I am using this imagery in a different sense. My stress level is so unbelievably high, I feel that Mac Truck on all levels. Emotionally, physically and mentally (spiritually has not been affected). Watching my darling little one suffer through her week is one of the top worst experiences. It has taken it's toll.

If you think of my little family, say a prayer that all versions of that darn Mac Truck will stay away. We need a little peace and quiet over here.

Family, School, Work and Play

2011-05-15T13:12:00.004-04:00

If the above sounds like a priority list, it is not. It is the top level outline of my coming week.

Family = We are SO very excited to get a visit this week from Marie, Jean and Fabrice. Emmanuel's sister, brother in law and nephew. They have come all the way from Burkina Faso and are spending three weeks in the states. We get to host them the last leg of their visit before they fly out of Cleveland. I can't wait for Olivia to spend some time with the Agbovi side of the family.

School = Tomorrow starts Olivia's first full week of daycare or as Mommy prefers to call it, "school". My heart is kind of breaking thinking of the adjustment we are all going to have. I am praying that after a few days she settles in and comes to like it. I am praying she likes her teachers, we all know how picky she is when it comes to people outside her little network.

Work- This topic is multi faceted. Emmanuel starts his new job on Monday which we are very excited about !!! We are praying this turns into a full time position for him and the tables are turned in our family. I go back on Monday to still more uncertainty and stress but for now enjoying the fact that we will have two incomes. For how long who knows. :)

Play = Olivia and I enjoyed a wonderful weekend home alone. We have no pictures because Emmanuel took the camera with him to his nephews graudation in Kentucky. Olivia and I cleaned the entire house, went to the Cleveland Zoo Rainforest, visited the mall, had a playdate with the neighbor boy. Last night after she went to bed my good friend and mother of three boys came over. We made tiramisu and enjoyed an evening together. We try to play as hard as we work around here!!

Cards and Purell

2011-05-05T16:15:00.001-04:00

If you currently buy Hallmark cards....stop, cease and desist!! The Agbovi family would like to strongly encourage you to purchase American Greetings, then Purell your hands, then buy more American Greetings. In doing so you will contribute to our employment.
That's right...both of our employment! Emmanuel has a contract at American Greetings and starts on May 16th. We are so excited for answered prayer in our life.

Happy Thoughts

2011-04-29T14:29:00.004-04:00

I love the idea embedded in the Peter Pan story that in order to fly one either required fairy dust or happy thoughts. Since I have not come in contact with any glittery powder floating from the sky...I keep telling myself there is only one other option. Today I am choosing that option!!

I am having happy thoughts of my darling little princess, my handsome husband, our snug little home and all of God's provision for my life.

What happy thoughts are you having today?

21 days of victory!

2011-04-11T09:11:00.002-04:00

Have you recently conquered a huge fear in your life that you can barely take any credit for? I have!!! 21 days ago I was a crying, blubbering baby. Scared to conquer an area in my life that God was asking for, pressing for and then scolding for.

Through the help of my darling husband, his prayer partners,my mentor and I am sure some unknown warriors, I conquered my fear and God worked a mighty work in my heart.

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit the area, yet aren't all weaknesses embarrassing until God claims victory over them? For me it was my quiet time with God. I had alot of fears surrounding spiritual disciplines that stem from my past. But God is always bigger than our past. He is our ever present help in trouble!

21 days of consecutive quiet time and yesterday I started a 52 week Bible reading with Emmanuel. I am looking forward to what God is going to do in the future.

Remember to say Thank You

2011-03-18T13:51:00.003-04:00

I remember as a little girl studying the story of the Ten Lepers in Sunday School. How Jesus sent 10 away to the priests to be healed, but only one returned to say thank you. It amazed me as a little girl and amazes me still that something as physically and culturally devastating as leprosy would not jog your mind to thank the person who healed you?

Although this parable (copied below in case you forget the story) was specifically dealing with us thanking God for the things He does in our life, I try to put this into practice as much as possible in my earthly relationships. Not to puff myself up, but I have a beautiful little story to tell.

We have a maintenance guy here at my work who manages our main kitchen/eating area. He does ALOT of stuff for us. Stocks all our free food, stocks our vending machines, keeps our free drink machine working, makes gallons of coffee for us and pops popcorn every Tuesday/Thursday. Not to mention he is our GOTO person if we need any beverages for seminars or meetings.

That is where my interaction with him comes in. I stop and chat with him from time to time. (Him being Gary who is in his early 60s). Over Christmas I brought him in some cookies and just thanked him for all that he does. Last week I needed some beverages for 30 people we were hosting for lunch. He helped me get it all packed up and ready for my meeting. I brought him more cookies.

Today he asked me if I had 5 minutes. He told me that I had been so kind to him that he wanted to repay me. I said "Gary, you don't have to thank me for thanking you. You do so much around here and I wanted you to know that I notice and appreciate it."

So he sat me down at one of the lunch tables. He brought out a box, an envelope and a spray bottle of cleaning solution.

"If you can guess the suggested retail price within .50 for this cleaning solution, you can have what's in the box" he said.

Well I did....but before I could open the box he asked if I would rather exchange the box for the envelope. I could only have one prize.

I stayed with the box.
Inside the box was a $25 gift certificate to Applebees. I nearly cried! $25 for a couple plates of thank you cookies hardly seemed a fair trade. Such a sweetheart.

Being nice and saying thank you really is the correct Christian way to live our lives. Thanks to my friend and co-worker Gary, my husband and I will be having a date night tonight!

Luke 17:11-19 (New International Version, ©2011)

Jesus Heals Ten Men With Leprosy
11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

Precious Time

2011-03-18T08:53:00.003-04:00

This week while waiting for the VP of International Business to enter a meeting with me, I created a matrix. It was a hand drawn time matrix of how my week goes. How many hours do I sleep, work, play, etc....

I was actually kind of shocked at what I saw and it has prompted me to make some changes, with more changes to follow. I realized that at least 50 hours a week are spent commuting to and being at work. That part doesn't bother me, it is a needed function of my time for my family.

What did bother me is the fact that during the week I only spend on average 8 hours with Princess O. If I do anything in the evening during the week it takes precious precious time away from her. If I meet a friend, stop at the grocery store, attend a meeting, it reduces those hours to such a minimal amount.

With that realization, yesterday I called in sick and spent ALL MY HOURS with my little darling. Not only did it pay off emotionally, but finally she called me Mama. :)

So if I seem to be all of a sudden stingy with my time, it is true. I am. Time is precious, my family is precious. Doesn't take a math formula, only a hand drawn scribbled matrix to realize.

Blowing Snow

2011-02-28T13:35:00.003-05:00

This winter has found me on the road observing the snow and ice patterns frequently. When we first arrived in Ohio I had the luxury of being 1 mile away from my place of employment. Winter 2 found me 6 miles away. Winter 3 found me at home with a newborn. This winter I am 25 miles away from work so I have had alot more driving time.

You know, those people out driving on the highway with 6 inches of snow still piled on top of their car? I have noticed two things about these vehicles. Either, they create a mini blizzard for those driving behind and around them. Or- the sheet of ice accumulated on top of their car comes crashing down either onto the pavement or cars around them.

Either disposal method is quite inconvenient for the drivers around them! You really would like to roll your window down and shout something like "Get a garage!".

Last week when it was the falling sheet of ice off of a large van in front of me (which resulted in a startled jerk on the steering wheel from me.) I thought about how this translates to our life. Sometimes we are going through things that come crashing or blowing off of us. Lately I feel like when people ask me how I am doing, I pause to find something nice to say! My mind is filled with negative blowing, crashing issues, scenarios and experiences. Not to say that life is HORRIBLE right now, just a lot of struggles going on.

How much nicer would it be if those cars could park in a nice warm garage in the morning before hitting the road. Just a few minutes where the accumulation could quietly melt away. This is where I need to be. In a corner melting away my negativity. I apologize to my friends who have had a faceful of snow from me lately! Thank you for loving me anyway.

Let the melting begin.

Little tiny fingers

2011-02-21T14:59:00.002-05:00

Little tiny fingers grasping my neck, not wanting me to leave for work this morning.
Trying to blow me kisses but knowing that means I am going bye bye.
Trying to be brave and wave through the glass.

Such a sweetheart I have.

Roller Coaster

2011-02-16T17:00:00.002-05:00

I hate them. I hate everything about them. The seats, the feeling of falling, the motion sickness. There is nothing good that I experience from them.

And I was told this week that life is like a roller coaster. So, in light of that, I have to find the positive!

Ok positive things that happened the last few weeks (which I guess would resemble the quiet gentle climb to the top of the first roller coaster hill?)
** great marriage seminar at church
** a good week at work with a re-organization of my department looming in my favor
** watching my toddler run around the Home and Garden show, only pausing long enough to dance at the player piano

Now for the plunging, sinking, tumultuous fall after the gentle climb.
** Olivia getting the stomach flu
** The realization that marriage really is something you always have to work on
** More tests and continued illness for me
** Continuous job hunt for my Babe

So... if life is a roller coaster, I hope it is full of sparkly flashing lights. Maybe that would take my mind off of the "roller" and more on the "coast".

Celiac Disease

2011-02-11T16:18:00.003-05:00

I promise not to make this blog all about, or even frequently about my illness. That would just make for some boring reading.

But I do want to thank all my friends and family for their support. I have gotten wonderful websites, book reviews, blogs, recipes and love as I set out on this lifetime journey. My husband brought me home two boxes of rice chex because right now that is the only thing he knows I can eat! Such a sweetie.

I have two and half weeks until all my baseline testing is done. I am praying not alot of permanent damage has been done because as I read more and more I realize I probably have had this for a while and left it undiagnosed. I know God will use it. I know it will be a wonderful journey to a much healthier me.

In the mean time, I had a muffin for breakfast and Jimmy Johns for lunch! (at the instruction of my Dr. )

Mentoring

2011-02-07T15:14:00.002-05:00

Back in San Diego I participated in our Church mentoring program for women. I both had a mentor while I was there and also sat on the committee as a representative of women my age. It was a great experience.

Coming here to Ohio meant I lost my mentor. She was a wonderful woman and I really enjoyed getting to know her. We are still in touch but it is of course not the same with miles between us.

When we joined our new church in NE Ohio I registered for the mentoring program and eagerly anticipated meeting my new mentor! My friends were placed with various older women in the church as time went on. I hear their wonderful stories and tried to be patient while I waited for mine.

Several follow up e-mails and three years later, I got an e-mail today from my new mentor!!! I know God has perfect timing (not sure whey He took three years) so I am praying that this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship that will aid us both in our spiritual growth.

It could be worse

2011-02-07T08:51:00.002-05:00

Wow- I haven't blogged in a while so hope my handful of readers haven't missed me too much.

Lots going on over here....last week was horrible for me. Lots of crying, emotions, praying and just general yuckiness.

Mostly because of two things.

A) You know how when you hold everything inside, you try to be strong, you try to smile when you don't feel like smiling and then it catches up with you. That was last week. I had an emotional explosion. Good thing that only happens like once a year...but I would be happy if it never happened again!
Moral of the story- maybe deal with issues, emotions, fears head on instead of letting them pile up.

B) I have a preliminary diagnosis of Celiac Disease. I have been super sick this last month and finally got checked out last week. I am relieved it isn't something worse, excited to start feeling better, yet a little scared to radically change my diet in the way it needs to be. Probably being sick aided in my emotional outburst this week also.

So, sorry to be a downer this morning. I am praying this week will be LOTS better than last week. :)

It would be easier

2011-01-20T09:01:00.003-05:00

It would be easier to look forward, and never reflect back.
It would be easier to stay in bed, and not face the day.
It would be easier to keep my mouth shut, and not let God use my words.
It would be easier to turn my mind off, and not let the Holy Spirit churn it.

It would be easier, but would it be best?

Change

2011-01-05T16:05:00.003-05:00

My darling husband has been doing research to help support me on my new book adventure. He is just that kind of man.

One of the things he discovered is that "change" is the number one seller of books. I completely resonate with that. Recently I was searching new women's bible studies and that exact thought crossed my mind. If I don't think it will change me, it isn't worth me reading.

So how do I translate that into my new adventure?

A) I find a new title. (don't' worry I am not hung up on the title...it may come to me after I get some chapters written.)

B) My story is really all about change...it will be easy for me to write MANY chapters of how God kept me through change, taught me how to endure change, taught me how to give changes to Him.

Doesn't this stir against your woman heart? It does mine. With our base desire for security and our nature to nurture we often resist change. We want confirmation and control. We want to organize change right out of our lives, we grieve when change happens and we weren't prepared.

This concept has kept me awake or dreaming the last two nights. How I can wrap my story around this fear/need. We need to be changed yet we fear it above all else.

Mind stirring stuff.

I missed an important date

2011-01-01T19:39:00.003-05:00

A very important date slipped by in the hubbub of the Holidays. It was the third year anniversary of us moving to Ohio. December 22. Although it may not seem like much....Ohio is now the longest state I have ever consecutively lived in since I was like 10. Maybe younger considering that the ages of 8-10 I lived went back and forth from Illinois to Kentucky.

No wonder Ohio is starting to feel a little like home. Thank you Jesus for my home, my stability and my sense of belonging.

Today is so very welcome

2011-01-01T11:38:00.003-05:00

January 1st holds so much for me!! I know you are probably tired of my gushing...but I must gush!

We are officially caught up on our bills after months of unemployment! How awesome is our God. I look back on my mint.com graphs for 2010 and already I have NO IDEA how we made it through this year. Such such such a God thing. We will never be the same after this year.

I have started on my new book! Aren't you excited?? I am so very excited. I have a dear friend holding me accountable to finish it this year, I have the title picked out, I have some e-mails out for research and publishing. I have e-mailed my church to see if there is a mentor who can help critique my writing for spiritual soundness. I am just thrilled to be headed down this path.

I would love to hear how you expect God to bless you this year. What are you asking Him for? What are you trusting Him for? This year is my year of Recovery and Joy! (joy translating into fun also. I need more fun in my life!)

Finding God in the Crazy

2010-12-30T08:52:00.002-05:00

I have been preparing for a women's devotional coming up and the title above is the title of my topic. Kind of catchy right? If you are local, come listen, if not then maybe I can post my slides afterwards.

I know we all face craziness in our lives, although I am pretty sure my testimony includes a different kind of crazy! I was thinking last night of which stories to share that will highlight some of the things I have faced. The more I thought, the more memories came flooding back.

Thankfully, I am in a place where the memories don't affect me. They are now catalogued away in my mind as a resource, something I can reference when making a point, share when emphasizing a truth, or draw upon when comforting a friend. Sometimes I surprise myself with details I had forgotten, but come rushing back when I least expect them.

Soon- I promise I will have a book. Then you won't be getting tidbits and nibbles on my blog, or a fleeting devotional. You can get the majority of the story and be blessed.

What started it all

2010-12-29T15:50:00.001-05:00

Here is a visit to my very first blog post- in case you are just tuning in and wondering why the name.

Monday, September 29, 2008
Why the name?
My first question if a friend of mine started blogging would be "Why the Name".... well I am glad you asked!

One of my main goals in life is to write a book and speak at Women's conferences. I have such a passion for Christian Women. We need mentoring, leadership skills, help with our relationships and careers. Sometimes I feel so stagnant as a woman I could scream. Typical women's ministry consists of tea parties, bake sales, book clubs and social dinners... (this is a generalization but I think you know it to be true).

I was reading today about the 50 most powerful women by Fortune magazine. I would love to meet some of them and ask how they made it so far. Are they Christians? Did they have to sacrifice their morality for that power? I am young and hopeful enough to hope and pray that not all of them did. I am strong enough to believe that you can keep your dignity and be a women leader...

But I slightly digress. Back to the point of my blog title....

Growing up there was one name that was like poison cast upon my young girlish heart...Eve. Her name brought fear and shame upon me. That wicked woman with the apple- responsible for all our sin and pain. She was the cause of it all. Women can't be trusted, women have evil ingrained in their very being. Her husband couldn't rely on her. God couldn't rely on her.

How my heart broke with Eve's burden. How she messed it up for us all! But I could never hate her, no I pitied her. Knowing how emotional God created us, how sensitive we are- she must have felt and grieved for what she had done like none of us have ever suffered. She went from perfect union with her husband. She had a perfect relationship with God. She knew what it was supposed to be like and then- when it wasn't. That was seriously lower than your worst PMS day ladies....

Especially as a young girl I was burdened with how God viewed Eve. Was I cloaked with an extra coat of shame because I was born a woman? I felt like my life was dictated by the fact that somehow I was more evil, less intelligent and destined for failure because of my sex.

Many things have brought me from this mindset...but one important light bulb, God moment stands out. You may have heard sermons preached on this point...but personally I never have. That moment is when Jesus arose. Now not in the Easter version "Up from the Grave He Arose" type of viewpoint. But after he arose.....the first person to see him....a woman.

Somehow it seems like a restoration. Eve brought sin first into the world, but Mary was first to see salvation from it. Eve experienced the first seperation from God, Mary experienced the first restoration of our relationship with God.

And so the name of my Blog. Being a woman is a beautiful thing. God created me. He knows me. He forgives me. He restored me. I can be proud that Eve was the mother of us all... and I am her daughter.

2011

2010-12-28T11:01:00.002-05:00

I have never been so excited for a New Year. For some reason the passing of 2010 signifies to me the exit of a whole year's worth of struggle and suffering! 2011 is fresh, new, and unscathed. Or maybe I am fresh, new and unscathed?

Either way I have some very specific prayers and goals. I have asked God to make 2011 our year of recovery and joy.

I was looking around the web this week for some encouraging words. Something I could sink my mind into and really meditate on. I came across this article and it blessed me so much,that it will now be my reflection point for the New Year. I have printed it out and expect to keep it visible as the months progress. It is such a good reminder to look inward at the health of our soul. Maybe it will bless you also if I share it.

http://brianandbobbie.com/teaching/how-live-health-and-wholeness

After Christmas

2010-12-27T08:53:00.001-05:00

I know sometimes there is a little blue feeling after Christmas....the nagging sensation that maybe this year just didn't quite go as planned, or you could have done better.

This year, I had tears of joy. For so many things that my heart desired came true. I was able to take my husband to dinner for his birthday and enjoy a night out with him. I was able to watch my little girl open so many nice presents and enjoy the wonder of our new tree. I was able to make a nice meal for Christmas dinner after many months of not so nice meals. I received a nice warm winter coat that I really needed.

I keep saying I...but my heart knows and rejoices in the One who provided for us this year. We also were so blessed by friends and family who saw our little family and showered us with many blessings. This year has taught me how to humbly accept love from others, even if I have to creatively reciprocate.

Christmas may be over, but I have no sadness. This Christmas will always be one of my favorites.

Golden Retriever

2010-12-15T08:30:00.002-05:00

So in our community group this week we are taking a personality test and learning how the strengths/weaknesses best coincide with those of our mates. There are 4 categories that you can fall under (for this specific short test)

Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever or ***can't remember the 4th one**

I tested at a Golden Retriever.

The funny thing is that at my work Holiday party this Monday we had a gift exchange. It was a $20 limit. I ended up opening a bag of doggie treats/toys and of course no one wanted to steal it!

So all those things combined, I have doggie on the brain.

But really what I want is a kitten.

Mommy vs Playmate

2010-12-09T10:42:00.004-05:00

Being a full time working wife and mother comes with a whole new set of challenges. We are working through them as they come. Separation anxiety, cheerios for dinner, exhaustion.

Our next one ( that I am sure will continue for the next 17 years) is what I have termed Mommy vs Playmate.

My first born came to me with a personality befitting an Agbovi woman. Strong and sweet. They battle each other on a moment by moment basis. Her opinions and strength will carry her far, and I vow to not let the sweetness slip away.

During the week I have roughly 90 minutes in the evening with my daughter and this week has been the toughest. In her little 12 mth old brain she has decided to test and see if me being gone during the day has reduced my role to a meer playmate. It is a logical question. I rush home to play with her, feed her dinner and get in bath/storytime before bed.

Does that mean I don't have to listen to you anymore? Will you still hold to your no, or scold me when I pitch my fits.

Although I hate when our play times are interrupted with these unspoken questions, the answer has to be yes. I am still Mommy. No is still No and fits are still not OK. :)

To quote the "Working Mom 411", There is no such thing as a part time mother, only full time moms with jobs.

All I want for Christmas

2010-12-08T16:44:00.003-05:00

Last night I was on the living room floor playing with my daughter. She went to get her ball which was close to our Christmas tree. The Christmas tree currently stands next to our fireplace, just a small little plugged in tree with currently no presents under it.

She ran to me with her pink ball in her arms, then ran to show it to her Daddy.

I looked back at the tree. I have all I want for Christmas. After almost a year of unemployment, filled with uncertainty of what was going to happen, I have learned what truly my heart desires.

I looked up at my ceiling and said a thank you prayer to God that I still have my home. I have a healthy husband and daughter.

The Christmas tree may be empty come December 25th, it may be full of gifts, but I am just thankful that there is electricity to make it shine.

I have all I want for Christmas already.

Use your words....

2010-12-03T09:49:00.002-05:00

I was having a wonderful visit with two of my good friends last night and we were discussing my recent blog about facebook. How it can be used as a passive aggressive way of communicating with someone your mift at, without actually confronting them.

I was sharing that recently I have had the courage to do several things that I used to be too scared to do. Things like, leaving my mother a voicemail message, having an honest conversation with a friend about how I was feeling about our relationship, dealing with new personalities at work that may be vastly different than my own.

Recently I have found a new confidence budding in my spirit. In a good way. In a healthy way. My observation has been that having a little toddler running around whose character development lies squarely in the hands of her father and I, has led me to a strong place I have never been before.

My dear friends pointed out that this strength was much needed, that being a mother has probably encouraged my budding confidence. That I am less tolerant of bad attitudes, less afraid of confrontation. But if I start telling those around me to "use their words" they will know I have gone to far.

So I will continue on this journey and make sure my toe does not touch that line. Although really, sometimes I do want to say it!

Virtual reality

2010-11-30T13:34:00.003-05:00

To quote my darling husband:

"It is called virtual reality because it isn't real."

Having Olivia has made me stop and realize how valuable it is to experience things. Internet, Tv, Movies are all ways to enjoy something without actually participating in the activity. Isn't it so much better to be the one having the adventure? To be the one living the dream, feeling the sensations, enjoying our world?

Plus- watching her enjoy her swim lessons, her walk around the block, gymnastics class brings so much more joy!

Don't get me wrong, I will always enjoy a good movie, a great book and snuggles on the couch with Sesame Street.

But as much as I am able, I want to enjoy the life God has given me and my family.

Serving Others

2010-11-19T14:10:00.002-05:00

It is my daughter's second Holiday season and I want her to grow up with the same love and passion for service that her Daddy and I have. This weekend she will attend a dinner hosted for over 250 International students, then she will go shopping with me to help fill a Thanksgiving dinner basket for a needy family in our community.

I am not sure what Christmas holds for us but am excited that at this early age we can take her right along and teach her that being a Christian is about loving those around us.

Facing a Fear

2010-11-05T19:30:00.001-04:00

First week on my new job is complete!! I was surprised at how quickly the week flew by and how I could feel the prayers of all my friends and family. I worried that having been out for a while would leave my brain sluggish and confused but just the opposite occured this week. My mind was engaged and sharp and the week went great!

Yesterday I had a little epiphony. I realized that being laid off has left me a little scarred. My boss has a very agressive personality in the organization and is not afraid to speak his mind, to anyone, with me standing right there. I felt myself cringing quite a few times. On reflection I realized that I really just didn't want him to rock the boat! If he ends up not a citizen of this community, where does that leave me!

Horrible way to go to work every day right? So after some good discussion with my husband and some prayer time with my Father I have reached this conclusion and belief. God has given me this job. Just like everything else we have, it is His to take away or continue to give. No boss or economy can change that.

Facebook

2010-10-30T14:04:00.002-04:00

My view on facebook is that currently I am sick of it. Maybe because I have way too much free time (that will end on Monday). Maybe it is because some of the people I am friends with....but it seems that more and more people are using it to hurt others. Vague status updates, blatant status updates, defriending others...when did facebook become a passive aggressive place to say things you aren't brave enough to tell someone to their face?

Monday's start date of a new job will take care of me worrying about this I am sure. But I plan on taking a little FB break. A message to those who read my blog- lets use FB to encourage each other. If you are mad at someone else- tell them to their face. Don't make them guess if you are talking about them or to them on your status.

Final Week

2010-10-24T20:12:00.001-04:00

Although I call it the "final week", there is no sense of pending doom at the prospect of starting my new job a week from tomorrow. I am filled with excitment, peace and joy! How perfect is God's timing???

Pillow Talk

2010-10-22T12:49:00.003-04:00

My husband is so passionate about putting into practice new things he learns. You might remember here when he attempted to put speed reading into practice after my little lesson on it.

http://daughterofedenseve.blogspot.com/2009/08/speed-reading.html

We are currently in a marriage study with our community group and it is going fabulously. I have to admit it has brought out both good things, and things we need to work on.

After the communication chapter though, a shout out to my husband for this sly move.

Laying in bed together sharing about our day:

Me = Talking about something that happened
Eman= Getting closer and closer to my side of the bed
Me= Still talking about my day
Eman= "Can this turn into a non-verbal communication?"

Hmmm....I don't remember that in the chapter.

A Year

2010-10-06T16:38:00.003-04:00

I remember saying that my "ideal" situation after having a baby would be to take a year off of work. Apparently God heard me...in fact I know that He did.

After 11.5 months home with my precious princess I will be returning back to work. God is amazing. It was not quite as "ideal" as I would have liked...there were a few too many tears and a little more stress, but each day has been a treasure.

I am the new Sr. Regulatory Compliance Project Specialist for GOJO- the inventors of Purell hand sanitizer.

Thank you God for answered prayer...both ways.

US Citizen

2010-09-26T10:55:00.003-04:00

My loving, darling husband deserves a post all of his own! In the midst of all the traveling, weddings and craziness he has finished the process and was sworn in as an American citizen.

I am so proud of him and we are truly blessed by God. Here are some pictures from the day.

Spruce Goose

2010-09-20T18:00:00.004-04:00

It was New Years Day and I agreed to go to the movies with a certain African man. After dinner at Cracker Barrel (my favorite Mexican placed was too packed) we went to see a movie. That movie was Aviator and it ended up being the first date to a wonderful marriage.

Fast forward over 5.5 years. We agree to visit an aviation museum with my Grandma Vaage in McMinnville, Oregon. Lo and behold there is the very same plane on display from the Aviator. Howard Hughes Spruce Goose! We got to tour the inside and even get a picture in the pilots seat.

Pretty cool!!!

Parties!!

2010-08-16T15:29:00.004-04:00

We just got back from 10 days in Wisconsin. My friend Amber got married and my friend Jess celebrated her bachelorette party! We had lots of fun. :)

The Nicest Compliment

2010-07-31T08:20:00.001-04:00

" You are a great friend. If I hadn't married you, I would still want to be your friend."
Emmanuel

Emmanuel- God is With Us

2010-07-30T17:26:00.002-04:00

Today my Mawuli Kodjo became officially Emmanuel Kodjo. :) That may come as a shock to some of my readers who never even knew his legal name was Mawuli.

This morning after taking his US Citizen exam, his name was officially changed to the name he was born with "Emmanuel". Through political decree it had been changed as a child to Mawuli and has since been on all his paperwork, drivers licsense, marriage certificate etc... So the confusion is now over. He is back to Emmanuel.

This handsome hunk of mine is not quite yet officially a Togocan as I like to call him. An American from Togo. In approximately a month he will be sworn in officially as a citizen and we will have a little celebration. Or should I say another celebration!

Another day with my daughter

2010-07-23T12:04:00.002-04:00

I know probably in the near future I will cry for days such as this. Days where I can snuggle on the couch in my pj's with my daughter as we read a book or watch a movie. Days where I see every smile, every tear, every grunt and whimper.

Although I fought and struggled, I have come to enjoy the time home with her. She is my joy.

Thought for the Day

2010-07-22T22:05:00.001-04:00

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.
~Karen Ravn

Surprise Party 2010

2010-07-04T17:29:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we surprised Emmanuel with a special party just for him. Being a Christmas Eve baby, it is just impossible to accomplish that over the Holidays. So what better occasion than his US Citizenship...and what better weekend to celebrate than 4th of July!!!

Here are some pics of the day. It was alot of fun and I am thankful to all the people who helped me pull it off and all the people who traveled from far away to be here.

No one wears shoes

2010-06-27T13:17:00.000-04:00

I own a business. I have been telling myself this over and over. Currently I am studying finance/accounting and also reading the "Women's Small Business Start Up Kit".

Two marketing scouts from a shoe factory traveled to Africa to explore business opportunities. The first scout sends a telegram back to the factory, "Situation hopeless...no one wears shoes." But the second sends the message, "Glorious business opportunity...no one wears shoes."

Which attitude am I going to have?

She can laugh

2010-06-23T10:36:00.001-04:00

Like the thirst of a man in the desert...I wanted to read my Bible this morning. I knew I could find a gem of truth to cling to, hold in my heart and keep circulating in my mind.

This is what I found for today...

"She is clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY; she can laugh at the days to come." Prov 31:25

Both sections of this verse really blessed me. I have always wanted to be one of those classy, strong, well intentioned women. To clothe myself both inwardly and outwardly with a dignity. To have an air of royalty with a gentle breeze of humility.

I think of my attitude the last several months and it has been an evolutionary process. I have gone from anger, to frustration, to grief and am just on the outer edges of laughter. To laugh at the days to come means my heart is filled with such peace, such anticipation that not even my imagination can falter it.

Today I look forward. Today I look inward. Today I clothe myself with dignity and laughter.

I can hardly move

2010-06-17T13:05:00.000-04:00

Starting P90X and a Sculpt/Tone class in the same week is beyond stupid. I can barely move. My legs hurt so bad that I am bound to kill myself on the stairs.

Thinking to gain some comfort for my pain...I asked Emmanuel...

"Is my butt getting tighter?"

No, he said

"Well you could lie a little!"

Goals for the rest of 2010

2010-06-09T22:30:00.000-04:00

It is halfway through the year...I have been home since January 6th and besides raising a beautiful baby girl...I haven't got alot accomplished.

So, I figured the best way to accomplish anything, is to first identify what I want to achieve!

1- Practice French
2- Start my book
3- Finish my finance class
4- Work on getting CTG more contracts
5- Continue to work on getting pre-baby body back

Hopefully this list will help motivate me! It may even be going on the honorable fridgerator door.

31 today!!

2010-06-08T12:33:00.000-04:00

I am blessed today by the love of my parents, my husband and my friends. I am typing this blog on my very own personal laptop! What a surprise!

FYI- I wasn't expecting a party last Friday night so as you can tell..my hair is a mess!

Fortune Cookie

2010-05-23T17:11:00.001-04:00

This was my fortune cookie today...

" The Axe soon forgets, but the Tree always remembers"

Dentists

2010-05-18T11:10:00.000-04:00

I feel like I have tested a personal theory of mine. Three years ago I went to a dentist close to my house who informed me that I had (6) cavities. Really just (3) but they were all located between teeth so they count them twice.

I had him put a filling in one and then never went back for the other two. Here I am three years later.

Last night the filling fell out of the tooth he "fixed", the other ones have never bothered me and I feel have not gotten any worse.

So I ask myself...was it worth putting a bigger hole in my tooth to fix a seemingly small hole?

First Wedding of the Season

2010-05-16T13:02:00.000-04:00

I was reminded this week of something our pastor in San Diego once said in a marriage class he taught. "Go to as many weddings as you possibly can and while sitting there, remember and reflect on why you married the person next to you".

After attending the first of many weddings for us this year, I am remembering the man I married, and he is the same man, but even better today.

Just like the picture

2010-05-08T07:50:00.001-04:00

Don't you just love the satisfaction of creating or experiencing something that is just like the picture? Whether it be a physical picture or a mental image, there is some kind of accomplishment and normalcy with the replication.

On a physical level I had personal satisfaction last night after making one of my favorite recipes. I looked down at the simmering pot of Chipotle cheese soup and realized it looked exactly like the image in the recipe book. That must mean success to some degree!

I remember this time last year getting ready for my birthday cruise. I had an expectation of what I would experience based on the pictures I had seen of the boat, the water, the beach, the islands. Anything different than those images would have probably resulted in disappointment.

In my life, I have mental images to coincide with my expectations and goals. A series of graphics strung together that result in my life's journey. But what happens if one of the images is suddenly removed or distorted? What happens if the job image doesn't look just like I see it in my mind's eye? What if someone in my family gets sick or even dies?

What I had foreseen for 2010 is not what 2010 is shaping up to be. It does feel like a loss or a failure. But what if I approach it as a child? What if i cling to Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Our Father has a plan, a picture in His mind. 2010 is exactly what He thought it would be.

Around the Bend

2010-05-04T12:54:00.000-04:00

In our Sunday School we have an older, married, more experienced couple come and share their testimony with our class once a month. I always look forward to hear what God has done in other people's lives, how they have overcome those things that just life and time seem to throw at us. I never leave without something to think about.

As many of you know, we are both still looking for full time work and have just been doing side jobs to get by. The last 6 months have been tough and lean. Last week Emmanuel pointed out that we are accumulating great stories for when we are the older, wiser, more experienced couple.

Puts the hard times into perspective. So catch up with us in a few years and we should have a plethora to share. But I am hoping not too many!

Not really angry

2010-04-22T16:50:00.001-04:00

So the truth is.... I am not "really" angry about anything. Deep down what I needed was just a really good long cry. I was fighting it. I have been fighting it. Thanks to Emmanuel who finally sat me down and made me spill everything out, I have now had that cry.

Trouble is, now I can't stop crying.

Sucks to be a girl sometimes. Men are such rocks. Oh to be a rock.

Your least weakness

2010-04-18T16:58:00.000-04:00

I made a recent comment to several people that I seriously regret. It has come around to now be a character issue to deal with.

My statement was something to the effect....

"I have alot of issues and coping mechanisms, but anger has never really been one I have to worry about."

So, just this week I really had to admit that I am now struggling with anger. On my 6 mile hike last weekend I was really praying about it, asking God to help me.

Right now I feel alot of it. I used to respond to friends, family situations in a pretty even-keeled manner. But now I get a hot head, say things I would never have said before, and of course regret that the wisdom and love that usually flows from my mind to my mouth is currently absent.

I don't like the angry feeling in my heart. It leaves a bitter taste in my soul. So my prayer is that I can recognize when the anger swells inside me, rationally quiet myself and ask God for His wisdom in dealing with some real crappy situations I am in right now.

Our Business

2010-04-09T17:16:00.000-04:00

Today Emmanuel and I had the awesome opportunity to have a business meeting at a local company we are hoping to partner with. Some of you may not know that we have started a consulting company called Chercheurs Technology Group. http://www.chercheurstechnology.com/

It was really cool this morning to work together for an hour. Me, marketing my skill set, Emmanuel marketing his. Our main concern with this venture is that we may not have skills that could compliment each other and we have worked hard to blend our education and experience into a cohesive package.

Today we were rewarded with an awesome compliment. The business men we met with today were excited about what we can do, and upon realizing (after 45 minutes) that we are actually a married couple, complimented us on the fact that our skill set is nicely combined. They actually were kind of excited that we were married. That had been another concern of ours.

So all in all- it was a really great day. It was like going on a job interview with your best friend there. I can't speak for my business partner, but my confidence level was even higher than if I had been in the same meeting alone.

Whirlwind or Tumbleweed?

2010-03-12T19:38:00.000-05:00

I stopped to consider today which my life is more like...the whirlwind or the tumbleweed. Let me ponder.

"A whirlwind is a weather phenomenon in which a vortex of wind (a vertically oriented rotating column of air) forms due to instabilities and turbulence created by heating and flow (current) gradients." Wikepedia

"A tumbleweed is the above-ground part of a plant that, once mature and dry, disengages from the root and tumbles away in the wind." Wikepedia

Yesterday I got a call from my former employer, the one who laid me off almost exactly 2 months ago. Today I was sitting in the exact same cube I started in, reporting to the exact same person over two years ago. I will be consulting for a couple of weeks.

Although it feels a little like a whirlwind, and my heart feels like a dry tumbleweed, unsure of where it is being blown to next, I decided I am neither a whirlwind or a tumbleweed. God knows the direction and plan He has for me.

She Loves Me

2010-03-04T19:44:00.000-05:00

If I had a daisy in my hand...picking off the petals, I would be chanting "she loves me, she loves me, she loves me" With my new little daughter, there is no "she loves me not" petal.

Her adoration for me is breathtaking. I have people in my life who are pretty thrilled when I enter the room, who love me alot, but nobody compares to Olivia. I am her ENTIRE world. Her face beams when her eyes connect with mine. It is kind of a cool, yet shocking thing. Just wanted to say.

From Behind

2010-02-27T09:35:00.000-05:00

Getting ones body back after carrying a baby in it for nine months is NO laughing matter. I am glad no one told me how difficult, discouraging and frustrating it would be. Mentally I am motivated, physically I am daunted with backaches, muscle spasms, too much milk, a baby who needs to eat every two to three hours....etc...

This week I was standing face forward to the mirror...and I thought to myself, I am looking relatively good. Turned to the side...yep, also looking pretty good. (compared to being 9 months pregnant how could the side view not look good?)

Then I turned completely around and was seriously not happy with what I saw. From behind....still LOTS of work to do.

Leave it to me to have a spiritual thought at that specific moment in time....but I did. How often do we only look at one portion of our life, one aspect of our character, one act of service or one random moment of generosity and think that we are ok? We cling to that false sense of security in ourselves.

Sometimes it is hard to turn around in the mirror. It is hard to face those areas where we aren't succeeding, we aren't choosing the correct behaviour or action.

My challenge to my blog readers is the challenge I gave to myself. Be willing to do a 360 degree analysis. Ask God to show you what you have chosen to ignore. It will make us healthier, happier people.

Banana Bread

2010-02-17T16:06:00.000-05:00

To satisfy my carb cravings yesterday plus ease my boredom I baked chocolate chip cookies and a loaf of banana bread. After someone had it for breakfast this morning, the following conversation took place...

Me: Why did you cut the bread that way?
Eman: Because I didn't want a large piece.
Me: (Giggle over that logic)

Stay At Home- this is my Post

2010-02-12T08:33:00.000-05:00

Last night in our small group we talked about being a "warrior chick" from our Holly Wagner book. One thing that she stresses in this chapter is the concept of staying at the posts God has put us at. Being faithful with and for what He has given us.

I think this really spoke to how I have been struggling this week. On Monday I got all dressed up for an appointment in Clevelend. It felt good to go into an office, talk with a professional and have my mind stimulated.

The rest of the week I was really cranky and I think it is because I was fighting with God over the post He has me at right now. I am pretty confident that due to my human nature I would want to be home if I was working...but I was complaining about being home all week with O. I know...it sounds horrible. But I have to be honest.

After being honest with myself, I realized that I MUST seize this opportunity, this post that I am at right now and not only faithfully fulfill this role but enjoy every minute I have with my little daughter. I will probably have the rest of my life to work...but only this week to enjoy a three month old named Olivia.

Snowed In

2010-02-06T10:03:00.000-05:00

This morning we woke up to alot of snow...it is hard to measure with the drifts but my guess is between 8-10 inches. Perfect Saturday morning for french toast, pot of coffee, warm PJ's and movies...which is exactly what we are doing.

Here is the view out our breakfast nook.

Being Pretty

2010-01-31T13:53:00.000-05:00

Although this may come off as being very very prideful, I have a beautiful baby. People stop me in the store, at church, everywhere just to look at her. She is captivating with her perky face, deep chocolate eyes and passes out smiles with very little effort.

I have been talking with Emmanuel however about how I want her to be as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside. When people comment at her beauty, my response usually is "She is as good as she is pretty". Emmanuel thought that was the oddest response, but in my mind, it is preparing all of us for character development. My goal is to get her to focus on things like kindness, goodness, her relationship with God. I would have this in my heart anyway, but if outward beauty is going to come naturally for her...unlike her Mommy...then I have more time for emphasis on the internal and eternal.

We just studied the Princess Chick chapter in our God Chicks book....I think that chapter is just the epitome of what I want for my daughter. I want her to feel valued, to know she is a daughter of the King and to conduct herself like the princess that she is.

I plan on doing everything I can to give her the best possible example.

Practice makes Perfect

2010-01-28T15:11:00.000-05:00

So I decided after my 15 minute testimony this morning that if I really want a career speaking to women in the future...I will definitely need to practice! So I think my cam-corder and I will be making some dates! Maybe I will even start posting short blurbs on here so you can help critique me.

My PPT looked great, my outline was tight...but I didn't factor in the following obstacles.

Olivia had a rough night which made me have a rough night, although I currently am battling an infection thanks to her being the worst baby at nursing ever!! So we get to church, I am not feeling well, trip as I go up to the podium, PPT won't come up, lose my voice halfway due to lack of sleep. Needless to say I don't have that confident, "Thank you God for that going well" feeling. I have more the "Please, let someone be blessed by that comedy of errors because of who YOU are God." feeling.

He probably wanted it that way.

Speaking

2010-01-25T22:45:00.001-05:00

There are two things I am passionate about. "Friendship Evangelism" especially in cross cultural situations and women's ministry.

This week I get to speak at our church for 15 minutes to the women's group. How thrilled I was to not only for the opportunity to speak to the women, but get to speak about my experiences in cross cultural relationships!

I will let you know how it goes. :)

Children

2010-01-22T18:27:00.000-05:00

It is time for a positive post... so here goes.

Last week was the first trip we took with Olivia. We went to DC for sad circumstances...but this is my positive post so I will only share positive things.

We spent time in the Togolese community and with Togolese friends and family while we were there. It is the first time I have made observations about Emmanuel's culture since having my own daughter and I LOVED what I saw.

Not to make generalizations...but here were some of my observations.

1) Children are SO treasured by everyone including the men.
2) There seems to be like a handbook for raising children that everyone is following. Everyone looks out for the children as if they belong to everyone, not just the individual parent.
3) Barring any bad behaviour, the children are given alot more freedom than in American culture. For instance while the memorial service was going on, during the pastor's preaching, children were wandering around the room from person to person. They weren't being bad, just walking around. (never would have happened in US culture)
4) Children are kept with the adults and engaged in conversation with the adults- their responses are encouraged and enjoyed.
5) Olivia was treated like royalty! Everyone wanted to talk with her, and she was passed between her Uncles alot.

I took away and have pondered several key things that I am really excited to bring into our home. Having been in the community for the weekend just gave me such a sense of safety. I am excited for Olivia to be with her Togolese family as much as possible.

Olivia and our Tassi

Olivia with our friend Joseph's family

Stressful Life Events

2010-01-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

One of the Pastor's Emmanuel and I work with at our church made the following statement to me.

They say life has 5 traumatic events.

1. Getting Married
2. Buying your first house
3. Birth of your first child
4. Losing a job
5. Death of a family member

Glad I got them out of the way so quick!

Still struggling

2010-01-11T15:40:00.000-05:00

It is amazing how I can be so happy and yet so sad at the same time. I lost my job this week. In an embarrassing and humiliating way. I, along with 13 other people were laid off from the headquarters of Step2. But they treated me like a criminal. I was escorted to the room where they told me what was going on, escorted to my desk to collect only mt coat, walked past all my co-workers to the front door where a security guard was stationed. (we never had security guards).

I think how I was let go was so hard. I put in three years for this company, was told my performance had nothing to do with my lay-off, but then was paraded out the door.

The happy part was my little seven week old daughter who was thrilled to snuggle on the couch with me over the next 48 hours of crying. If it weren't for her, I think I would still be in bed, fighting with depression. But she needs me every 3 hours, so wallowing is not really an option.

For now, I will enjoy her smile and look for a job soon enough.

Addition to the list

2010-01-02T20:09:00.000-05:00

I failed to mention the passing of my Uncle Loren in my previous post. That probably was the first bad news we got- but it also was good news becuase I know I will see him again in Heaven. I did not know him well, but he had a peaceful and loving attitude when I was around him.

I am thankful to God that some news is softened with the knowledge of an eternal future.

Just a little too much!

2009-12-29T18:25:00.000-05:00

There have been several times in my life where I felt that I had just a little too much on my plate to handle. This is one of those times. My already fragile emotions have been stretched to the max and I am ready for some good news. (besides totally enjoying and being enthralled with my daughter)

My last post was the pressure regarding our job situation and below are additional things going on..

1) My Uncle was in a bad car accident
2) My sister was in a car accident
3) My parents flight got canceled to come see Olivia
4) Emmanuel's nephew was shot and killed while working in a Virginia bakery
5) My employer possibly messed up my maternity leave pay
6) We got the Christmas cards/birth announcements in the mail and instead of the 100 I ordered there were only 10 in the box.

It has been something EVERY day for the last 10 and I am almost tempted to shut off my phone and snuggle with Olivia for the rest of the week.
If you call and get my voicemail..that is exactly what I have done!

Nervous

2009-12-26T19:24:00.000-05:00

You might not know this about me, but when I am upset, I clean. So if you come to my house and it is messy that probably equals a sense of peace and calm. Reverse kind of behaviour huh?

Today- my house got cleaned. I found out on Monday that upon my return to my job, I will be without a boss. She was let go without warning or explanation on Monday. For me, this is not a good thing. She was the reason I am in Ohio and was a great boss to me. She recruited and helped transfer me here, creating a position and a place for me at my new job. She has been a great boss these two years.

I had lunch with her today and unfortunately she can not give me any reassurances about my security at this job. She was so blindsided with her own layoff that she has no clue if they are downsizing across the company or if they let her go for some other reason.

So- I came home, had a headache, drank way too much coffee and cleaned.

Calling all Princesses!

2009-12-23T21:11:00.000-05:00

The nickname of Princess O has seemed to stick with my new baby daughter. It actually was started by some friends of ours who would call during my pregnancy and ask how "the princess" was. Now it has stuck.

Today I was reading my daily devotional and was blessed to read the following:

"When you understand that you are the loved-beyond-measure daughter of the KING, you will live your life differently. You will know your worth and not let anyone treat you less than a royal daughter. You will not abuse others or your own body...because royal princesses don't behave that way. When you understand that you are designed to serve humanity as God's princess, then you can freely give...and you have an obligation to do so.

And when you know this, you will affect the women who are in your world..who will affect the women in theirs...until eventually it will go around the globe.

You and I have an obligation to live our lives as princesses. And it is not just for us. It is so that our friends and our companions will follow us into the royal palace.

Imagine a planet in which every woman understands her worth and knows that she is the loved, irreplaceable daughter of the KING. Wow"

Holly Wagner

Private Consultant

2009-12-22T22:17:00.001-05:00

This time next week I will be married to a private technology consultant! Emmanuel is going out on his own and starting his own consulting company for School districts and mid to small size companies. We are praying God's blessing over this adventure. :)

A sweet little face

2009-12-15T00:21:00.000-05:00

There is a sweet cherub face staring back at me and all the emotions of being a mother intensely wash over me. A most powerful love- almost like a drug, fills my soul.

And yet, there is also a sadness also. The question of "why" and "how" fill my mind. I think now into the future- maybe 20 or 30 years. Could anything change how I feel about this little angel asleep in my arms? Could she do anything that would completely alter how I feel about her? The fear lurks in the back of my mind as the tentacles of rejection sweep over me.

Then I look into the face of Jesus and I envision Him looking into my face. I am His child. There is nothing I could ever do either intentional or un-intentional that would ever make him turn his back on me.

It is as I gaze into the love of my Saviour that I know with all certainty that the answer is no. With my heart and mind totally given to God- the love for my daughter will not wane. I will not turn my back on her. I will not abandon her. She is given to me by God and He expects me to be the parent to her that He is to me.

Big Changes

2009-11-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

It is always amazing to me to feel the presence and peace of God over the really big changes or decisions that come into your life. For me, it has not always been easy so I mark that as spiritual growth.

Soon, there will be ALOT of changes for the Agbovi family. I have had moments of trepidation and nervousness, but overall just an overwhelming sense of peace. I look forward to documenting those changes on my blog because although acceptance has been a form of growth, actually walking through the changes will be the bigger battle.

My Rock and My Fortress

2009-11-02T21:26:00.000-05:00

Psalm 18:2

2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I was reminded this week of an old haunting fear of mine. One that has plagued me for years. The kind of fear that is based unfortunately in reality and yet God delivered me from many years ago.

It is amazing how many emotions I felt rush back. Things like survivor's guilt, panic, peace and an overwhelming thankfulness. Yes, all those emotions at once.

Thankfully the peace, the joy and the love of Christ was able to rule over any hint of this old fear taking hold of me again. That is because of Christ. He has rescued me, He has set my feet upon solid ground. Given me a relationship with Him, a relationship with my husband, friends and a church that is like a fortress around me.

I think this week I had a glimpse of the past so that once again I am able to rejoice in the present and the future.

Halloween

2009-11-01T10:27:00.000-05:00

Last night was Halloween and although I wasn't that interested in any preparation, Emmanuel came home with about 5 bags of candy. So after dinner we filled up a bowl and prepared for the neighborhood kids. Little did we know that due to the safety and closeness of our neighborhood we would be inundated with kids!!!! We are in the kind of area that people drive to for trick or treating.

So thanks to our kind neighbor who loaned us some of her candy...we made it until the end of the night. We had alot of fun and it inspired us to dress up for next year and be a little more prepared.

Little by little we fall more and more in love with Ohio and specifically with our cute little neighborhood!

Christmas

2009-10-21T16:46:00.001-04:00

I think one of the ramifications of me being home for one week is the strong desire to decorate for Christmas! It doesn't help that I have been doing all my shopping early, wrapping the presents as they arrive in the mail and working on Christmas cards.

Is October too early to get out the tree???

Pain Scales

2009-10-15T12:11:00.000-04:00

Sorry for another medical posting but this one is kind of funny. I want to petition for a nationally recognized pain scale and here is my story of why.

I call the nurse on Tuesday to tell her I am having contractions and she tells me to rate my pain on the 1-10 scale. So I say to her, "Well I know labor is going to be 10 times worse than this, but based on the pain I have experienced so far I would rate this at a 7"

I get to to labor and delivery at the hospital and they ask me to rate my pain. The nurse says, "On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being surgery with no anesthisia". "Well with that kind of scale I would have to say a 1!" Surgery with no anesthisia are you kidding me.

Next day I go see my Dr. who asks me again to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. "Well I said, I would say a 2. Mostly just bad cramps with an occasional doubling over to hold my stomach". "That doubling over is a 10!" says my Dr.

Seriously...the pain scale is ALL messed up!!

To the OBGYN who does not know me

2009-10-14T12:11:00.000-04:00

Dear Dr. I have never met,

I understand that you do not know me. I understand that I am sitting in your office with a wedding ring on my finger but no husband beside me. But please, can you assume that I am happily married? Your questions about my sex life insinuating that I am sleeping around is just offensive! Like an 8 month pregnant lady, dressed in her work clothes has a second job on a street corner somewhere.

Now I am sure you see all kinds of women who have apparently jaded you to be the way you are. But seriously, there are nice girls out there!! Find some joy in having one in your office!

Until you learn to re-phrase your offensive question, the answer is yes. Yes, I am only sleeping with one man. To expound on your question, the answer is yes. Yes, I only plan on ever sleeping with one man. Put that in my chart for next time.

A good marriage

2009-10-04T19:11:00.000-04:00

Today was a huge blessing at church. An older couple came and were guest speakers in our Sunday school class and I instantly fell in love with them! They did such a great job sharing some of the ups and downs they have encountered over the last 35 years of their marriage and parenting, yet when asked to rate their marriage the wife resoundly said "It's a 10 and getting better"! How can you not look up to a couple who has a marriage like that?

Taxi's

2009-09-25T20:44:00.000-04:00

If you know me really well you probably already know I am not a big fan of public transportation. It isn't that I am a snob...it is that I don't like someone else being in charge of my transportation. I would much rather drive myself thank you very much.

But this week in DC I was reminded of the limited taxi experiences I have had, and added a few more memories for the taxi memory bank.

I needed to take a taxi to go visit my Togolese Aunt and Uncle. The ride there was mostly without anything note worthy although I think my nervousness must have shown and he cheated me on the money situation. I confirmed the cheating on my return way home...next time driver from Ethiopia you are not cheating me an extra $3!

On the way back my Aunt and Uncle insisted on walking with me and helping me hail a taxi. Now the whole "hailing a taxi" thing has always been problematic for me. I remember the very first time I tried was with my sister Holly in DC and we ended up in fits of giggles because we apparently had not watched/payed attention enough to the movies. Took us FOREVER to get one...

This week I wanted to giggle SO bad because my Aunt's style of hailing a taxi was to raise her arm and hiss. Yes, HISS!! Like something between a snake and a cat! Hilarious! Especially since their windows are rolled up and there was no way the drivers would hear her.

Here is me in my taxi ride with the cheating driver. :) Yeah I guess the look on my face is nervousness...

Trains, Planes and Automobiles!

2009-09-21T11:19:00.000-04:00

We had a little of everything this weekend but here is the train coverage.

I have always thought that trains would be the ideal way for me to travel. Someone else is driving, you are not in the sky, easy on and off. And I think I am right. This weekend we did a girl day trip on the Cuyahoga Scenic Valley Railroad and it was so pleasant! The train made me want to go to sleep it was so peaceful and relaxing.

Here are a few pics from our excursion on the train.

Me

2009-09-19T06:57:00.000-04:00

It has been a while since I put a picture of me on here....This is me almost 30 weeks pregnant. Trying to look professional for my work day. :)

God Chicks - Remake

2009-09-14T14:34:00.000-04:00

This post is for my friends in the San Diego small group! I suggested to my small group of Young Professional women here in Ohio that we use the God Chicks book for our next study. They got a little interested so I ran into the basement, pulled out my copy and came upstairs to pass it around.

As I was thumbing through it I found notes from when we did it together over 2 years ago. E-mails from Jane, Dilenna, Summer. Notes to myself on what we were going to talk about that week.

I also came across our "brainstorming" session on what I am assuming was the "party chick" chapter. If you remember, we were sitting outside the coffee shop and all discussing things we would like to do, but apparently never had the courage to try.

As I was getting ready to hand the book around to my new small group, I had to start laughing out loud as my eyes fell to the list of suggested activites. Right there as the top two were "Pole Dancing and Sexy Photo Shoot". I don't think my current group of single ladies would have quite understood that list!!!

Man did I get a good laugh. I sure do miss you ladies!

The Little Things

2009-09-14T08:53:00.001-04:00

I realized yesterday that Emmanuel and I have reached that point in our lives where the littlest things make us very happy. Not that we are bored, ignorant or lazy, but finally we are at a place where we can appreciate all that is going on around us.

We are having a blast with our yard work, we got all excited to see a new road opened up on our way to church, and our color choice in the dining room is finally okay with me!

I went to sleep last night thanking God that He has blessed us with a lot of peace. We had to put in hard hard work to get here, but we are really enjoying life right now. Here are some pics to show you.

Me at 29 weeks pregnant with Olivia

Eman's landscaping project this year

Eman watering his grass with our broken hose at 6:30 am this morning

Straight Paths

2009-09-09T09:04:00.000-04:00

This morning I had a collage of reading, thoughts and prayers going through my mind. I started reading my new Christian woman book, jumped to Hebrews 12, then finished with the Holly Wagner devotional we are using in our small group tomorrow night.

The theme from all three was running. Several of my friends are running in races this year so I am currently surrounded with mileage, updates, countdowns, weight loss!

Even though I can't run right now- this morning I was very blessed. Hebrews 12 says this " Make straight paths for your feet". Interesting to me that this implies we have a choice. A defeatist attitude would say that the path is stretched out before us and we are plodding along day by day.

The word "Make" means we have creation, inspiration, power right here in our hands. God doesn't say follow the path. He doesn't say endure your path, he says make your path! "strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees".

Today these words are reverbrating in my head. My path is my own and with the help of God's word, God's Holy Spirit and my Christian community what I create will be a beautiful thing.

Quiet morning

2009-09-08T14:40:00.001-04:00

As a result of being pretty sick on Monday- we decided not to do our three mile walk before work this morning. But I still woke up at 5:30am wide awake and refreshed.

I came downstairs in my bathrobe and while my coffee was brewing I started my new Bobbie Houston book, "I'll have what she is having". I have been eyeballing this book for about a year because of the Hillsong podcasts Emmanuel and I love to listen to. A couple of weeks ago I broke down and ordered it- knowing it would be a refreshing Christian supplement to my Harry Potter marathon!

It always blesses me to read encouraging testimony from women who are leaders in the churches, communities and families. First chapter down and several more to go!

How to Study the Bible

2009-08-31T14:34:00.000-04:00

"I bet none of you were jumping up and down with excitement when you found out the topic of discussion!" Said our new Sunday School teacher last week.

Honestly- no. I was not thrilled. My first thought if I am honest with myself was "Who wants to hear two sermons in one morning!"

But pleasantly not only did God work on my heart a little bit, I really enjoyed the topic once we arrived and engaged. If I open my mind to the why and how of how to study the Bible, I am convinced I will learn something. (obviously)

So with a refreshed attitude I look forward to the coming week and the challenge to read my Bible once a day. Today I feasted on 1John chapter 1.

New Design

2009-08-29T08:41:00.000-04:00

It is always fun to try or get something new. There is a feeling of cleanness, of excitement, of inspiration. Probably a false sense of starting over with the proverbial clean slate.

Later on in my life, I had to recognize that this emotional rush can be a deadly addiction. As a child and young adult I was never taught how to engage in healthy relationships. There was always a sense that if things didn't work out, you cut that person out of your life or you relocated physically. Although you had the excitement of new things, I have to admit that there was always a hidden sense of pain. I am reminded of the "Golden Compass" and the use of cutting to remove your soul from your body. Life without a healthy perspective on friendship and family can result in the same torn fragments.

It has taken me many years but I have come to learn what healthy interaction looks like. Sometimes you don't agree, sometimes you have opposing views, sometimes you are on the same wave length. Such is life and life is meant to be lived, not constantly run away from.

So although I have several "new" things in my life right now, I cherish the "old". The safety and security that comes from knowing you worked hard at a relationship brings abundant peace.

Coming Soon

2009-08-24T10:44:00.001-04:00

Daughter of Eden's Eve will be under construction this week. :) I may try out several templates to see which one actually goes with the re-design I have in mind. Hopefully a fresh look will re-charge my brain to write something reflective and inspirational.

Central Log to my Internal Fire

2009-08-12T09:41:00.000-04:00

One thing I love about our church here in Ohio is the preaching. Most of the sermons resonate with me to the point of reflection the rest of the week.

Last Sunday was such a sermon. Although I can barely do it justice, I can write about my thoughts concerning it.

Our Pastor spoke on the importance of keeping Christ at the center. He used an illustration of a starter log for a fire. Everything is built around it but for many of us, that central nerve is something other than what it should be.

A profound observation; "If you touch someones central log, and it is not Christ, be prepared to battle unforgiveness from that person. Whatever is at their center will be the forbidden area". PARAPHRASE

I thought about areas of sensitivity in my own life that might point out things that I put above Christ. Although I can say the list is shorter than it once was, there are still things I had to admit to. Mainly my job. If someone criticises my work or thinks I made a judgement error, it just sends me into a tizzy. This week I am focused on giving that area of my life to Christ and asking him to be over it.

Speed Reading

2009-08-05T10:14:00.000-04:00

"Wow, said Emmanuel. You are sure going through that book fast!"

Referring to the first Harry Potter book that Mary was reading in bed. As Emmanuel jumped into bed next to her, she started showing him tips on how she speed reads novels.

"See, says Mary, I basically let my eyes scan to see who is talking first, then I just pick up the gist of the paragraph before moving onto the next. I basically skip the descriptors of moods, tones, backgrounds. I can gather what I want from what the person actually says."

"I think I would actually enjoy reading if I could learn how to do that." Says Emmanuel

The next night they were laying in bed together again, this time just talking. The topic of conversation was about the upcoming weekend and Mary hosting a get together for the women in her Sunday School Class.

" I only have 5 women coming and 2 of them are actually from work." says Mary. "The one lady I invited sits next to me and I realized after Easter weekend that we go to the same church." As Mary started to launch into the story of how exactly she figured this out, Emmanuel interrupted her. "So you only have 5 girls coming?"

"Hey, said Mary, I was trying to tell you a story here! It isn't nice to interrupt me."

Eman, with a straight face but a twinkle in his eye replied, "I was practicing my speed reading technique."

Floods of Feelings

2009-07-28T11:20:00.000-04:00

I concur that currently my emotions are a bit haywire...but I am overcome with a sadness pending some news we got this week. A couple we are close with are divorcing. We have shared many things, joy, pain, Holidays together. All that will be lost with the family now torn apart.

Mainly I grieve for the loss. Loss of security, loss of belonging, loss of communication and friendship for this family. It brings a flood of emotions and feelings that I can't quite shake. Memories of my parent's divorce and the aftermath of destruction. Even as an adult the pain of divorce is vivid.

With little Olivia on the way my mind is consumed with the environment I want to bring her up in. Mainly there are two key ingredients for me. God and Love. I want her to know what a real relationship with God is and I want her to see His love evident in how Emmanuel and I treat each other.

I pray this day for a special blessing over my marriage- for the journey I am committed too and the family I want to build.
I also pray this day for our friends...that they would recommit their relationship and family to God.