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So the truth is.... I am not "really" angry about anything. Deep down what I needed was just a really good long cry. I was fighting it. I have been fighting it. Thanks to Emmanuel who finally sat me down and made me spill everything out, I have now had that cry.
Trouble is, now I can't stop crying.
Sucks to be a girl sometimes. Men are such rocks. Oh to be a rock.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Your least weakness
I made a recent comment to several people that I seriously regret. It has come around to now be a character issue to deal with.
My statement was something to the effect....
"I have alot of issues and coping mechanisms, but anger has never really been one I have to worry about."
So, just this week I really had to admit that I am now struggling with anger. On my 6 mile hike last weekend I was really praying about it, asking God to help me.
Right now I feel alot of it. I used to respond to friends, family situations in a pretty even-keeled manner. But now I get a hot head, say things I would never have said before, and of course regret that the wisdom and love that usually flows from my mind to my mouth is currently absent.
I don't like the angry feeling in my heart. It leaves a bitter taste in my soul. So my prayer is that I can recognize when the anger swells inside me, rationally quiet myself and ask God for His wisdom in dealing with some real crappy situations I am in right now.
My statement was something to the effect....
"I have alot of issues and coping mechanisms, but anger has never really been one I have to worry about."
So, just this week I really had to admit that I am now struggling with anger. On my 6 mile hike last weekend I was really praying about it, asking God to help me.
Right now I feel alot of it. I used to respond to friends, family situations in a pretty even-keeled manner. But now I get a hot head, say things I would never have said before, and of course regret that the wisdom and love that usually flows from my mind to my mouth is currently absent.
I don't like the angry feeling in my heart. It leaves a bitter taste in my soul. So my prayer is that I can recognize when the anger swells inside me, rationally quiet myself and ask God for His wisdom in dealing with some real crappy situations I am in right now.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Our Business
Today Emmanuel and I had the awesome opportunity to have a business meeting at a local company we are hoping to partner with. Some of you may not know that we have started a consulting company called Chercheurs Technology Group. http://www.chercheurstechnology.com/
It was really cool this morning to work together for an hour. Me, marketing my skill set, Emmanuel marketing his. Our main concern with this venture is that we may not have skills that could compliment each other and we have worked hard to blend our education and experience into a cohesive package.
Today we were rewarded with an awesome compliment. The business men we met with today were excited about what we can do, and upon realizing (after 45 minutes) that we are actually a married couple, complimented us on the fact that our skill set is nicely combined. They actually were kind of excited that we were married. That had been another concern of ours.
So all in all- it was a really great day. It was like going on a job interview with your best friend there. I can't speak for my business partner, but my confidence level was even higher than if I had been in the same meeting alone.
It was really cool this morning to work together for an hour. Me, marketing my skill set, Emmanuel marketing his. Our main concern with this venture is that we may not have skills that could compliment each other and we have worked hard to blend our education and experience into a cohesive package.
Today we were rewarded with an awesome compliment. The business men we met with today were excited about what we can do, and upon realizing (after 45 minutes) that we are actually a married couple, complimented us on the fact that our skill set is nicely combined. They actually were kind of excited that we were married. That had been another concern of ours.
So all in all- it was a really great day. It was like going on a job interview with your best friend there. I can't speak for my business partner, but my confidence level was even higher than if I had been in the same meeting alone.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Whirlwind or Tumbleweed?
I stopped to consider today which my life is more like...the whirlwind or the tumbleweed. Let me ponder.
"A whirlwind is a weather phenomenon in which a vortex of wind (a vertically oriented rotating column of air) forms due to instabilities and turbulence created by heating and flow (current) gradients." Wikepedia
"A tumbleweed is the above-ground part of a plant that, once mature and dry, disengages from the root and tumbles away in the wind." Wikepedia
Yesterday I got a call from my former employer, the one who laid me off almost exactly 2 months ago. Today I was sitting in the exact same cube I started in, reporting to the exact same person over two years ago. I will be consulting for a couple of weeks.
Although it feels a little like a whirlwind, and my heart feels like a dry tumbleweed, unsure of where it is being blown to next, I decided I am neither a whirlwind or a tumbleweed. God knows the direction and plan He has for me.
"A whirlwind is a weather phenomenon in which a vortex of wind (a vertically oriented rotating column of air) forms due to instabilities and turbulence created by heating and flow (current) gradients." Wikepedia
"A tumbleweed is the above-ground part of a plant that, once mature and dry, disengages from the root and tumbles away in the wind." Wikepedia
Yesterday I got a call from my former employer, the one who laid me off almost exactly 2 months ago. Today I was sitting in the exact same cube I started in, reporting to the exact same person over two years ago. I will be consulting for a couple of weeks.
Although it feels a little like a whirlwind, and my heart feels like a dry tumbleweed, unsure of where it is being blown to next, I decided I am neither a whirlwind or a tumbleweed. God knows the direction and plan He has for me.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
She Loves Me
If I had a daisy in my hand...picking off the petals, I would be chanting "she loves me, she loves me, she loves me" With my new little daughter, there is no "she loves me not" petal.
Her adoration for me is breathtaking. I have people in my life who are pretty thrilled when I enter the room, who love me alot, but nobody compares to Olivia. I am her ENTIRE world. Her face beams when her eyes connect with mine. It is kind of a cool, yet shocking thing. Just wanted to say.
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