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My Grandma Wise always prefaces certain statements with "If I get hit by a Mac truck tomorrow". I make the same statement at work sometimes if I am showing one of my employees a process or workflow that only I know. It is a horrible way of parting knowledge to someone. A graphic image of a messy and untimely death.
This phrase also comes into my conversation if I wake up feeling not particulary well. My college friend Nadia used to tell me that she felt bad for whoever married me because I always wake up looking horribly hungover. It is true= thankfully Emmanuel doesn't care that the "mac truck" hits his wife every night and he does not wake up to a wonderful sleeping beauty.
This week however I am using this imagery in a different sense. My stress level is so unbelievably high, I feel that Mac Truck on all levels. Emotionally, physically and mentally (spiritually has not been affected). Watching my darling little one suffer through her week is one of the top worst experiences. It has taken it's toll.
If you think of my little family, say a prayer that all versions of that darn Mac Truck will stay away. We need a little peace and quiet over here.
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Prayers are being said right now. I learned a while back that the word persevere (Romans 5, James 1) means to "stay under;" stay under, friend. It will get so very much better and one day you'll have the privilege to watch God use this time. Til then, hang in there. I've got your back in prayer!
ps- after pouring my heart out to God over childcare for a year, I learned about him that he protects our little ones, designs these experiences to shape them, and that he LOVES our mother hearts. He made you to feel all that anguish; it's not just ok, it's part of his plan for you, for O, for Eman, and for mankind. Let him love on your heart a little - my grandma calls it Son-bathing. :)
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