Thursday, July 14, 2011

Brain Cells

World War 111 is waging for my brain I am sure of it. No, I am not wearing a tin foil hat to protect my thoughts from aliens, not eating bottles of Ginko to rejuvinate my mind. Just takinga step back and realizing that mentally, emotionally and physically it makes sense that I am no longer the sharpest tack in the box.

Not to bemoan my current state, just to acknowledge. Diagnosis of Celiac, the stress at work, stress at home blah blah blah.

I used to come to work ready to tackle the day right into the ground and not leave until I had it in a choke hold. Now, I meander to my desk and sit there waiting for the clock to say 4:50. Yeah, I don't even stay until 5.

Part of this is due to the fact that I have spent the last 4 months thinking I was losing my job. Also being told every week "I am really not sure what to do with you,what did we hire you for?" That doesn't mentally stimulate anyone to do the tackling of the day!

I also am a mom now and I have to admit that a good portion of my brain cells are permanently now devoted to her. Thinking, planning and loving her even from a distance. I can't turn it off nor would I want to.

So this week needs an evaluation. I am no longer and fearful about losing my job, they seem to have remembered why they hired me and are letting me do the things I was destined to do. So now it is up to me to get my butt in gear and produce something worthwhile. Time to rev up all the bits of my knowledge and muster up what I used to have, initiation, ambition and drive.

Hello brain cells, I am coming for you.


Dawn Shultz said...

Isn't it amazing how part of you stays with your kids all the time? But you're a smart cookie, and you'll do well even with a few brain cells stuck on Olivia all the time! Go get your mojo! :)

Angela said...

Hang in there Mary! I love feeling connected to your life through your blog. Miss you dear friend.