Just a little too much!

There have been several times in my life where I felt that I had just a little too much on my plate to handle. This is one of those times. My already fragile emotions have been stretched to the max and I am ready for some good news. (besides totally enjoying and being enthralled with my daughter)

My last post was the pressure regarding our job situation and below are additional things going on..

1) My Uncle was in a bad car accident
2) My sister was in a car accident
3) My parents flight got canceled to come see Olivia
4) Emmanuel's nephew was shot and killed while working in a Virginia bakery
5) My employer possibly messed up my maternity leave pay
6) We got the Christmas cards/birth announcements in the mail and instead of the 100 I ordered there were only 10 in the box.

It has been something EVERY day for the last 10 and I am almost tempted to shut off my phone and snuggle with Olivia for the rest of the week.
If you call and get my voicemail..that is exactly what I have done!

Nervous

You might not know this about me, but when I am upset, I clean. So if you come to my house and it is messy that probably equals a sense of peace and calm. Reverse kind of behaviour huh?

Today- my house got cleaned. I found out on Monday that upon my return to my job, I will be without a boss. She was let go without warning or explanation on Monday. For me, this is not a good thing. She was the reason I am in Ohio and was a great boss to me. She recruited and helped transfer me here, creating a position and a place for me at my new job. She has been a great boss these two years.

I had lunch with her today and unfortunately she can not give me any reassurances about my security at this job. She was so blindsided with her own layoff that she has no clue if they are downsizing across the company or if they let her go for some other reason.

So- I came home, had a headache, drank way too much coffee and cleaned.

Calling all Princesses!

The nickname of Princess O has seemed to stick with my new baby daughter. It actually was started by some friends of ours who would call during my pregnancy and ask how "the princess" was. Now it has stuck.

Today I was reading my daily devotional and was blessed to read the following:

"When you understand that you are the loved-beyond-measure daughter of the KING, you will live your life differently. You will know your worth and not let anyone treat you less than a royal daughter. You will not abuse others or your own body...because royal princesses don't behave that way. When you understand that you are designed to serve humanity as God's princess, then you can freely give...and you have an obligation to do so.

And when you know this, you will affect the women who are in your world..who will affect the women in theirs...until eventually it will go around the globe.

You and I have an obligation to live our lives as princesses. And it is not just for us. It is so that our friends and our companions will follow us into the royal palace.

Imagine a planet in which every woman understands her worth and knows that she is the loved, irreplaceable daughter of the KING. Wow"

Holly Wagner

Private Consultant

This time next week I will be married to a private technology consultant! Emmanuel is going out on his own and starting his own consulting company for School districts and mid to small size companies. We are praying God's blessing over this adventure. :)

A sweet little face

There is a sweet cherub face staring back at me and all the emotions of being a mother intensely wash over me. A most powerful love- almost like a drug, fills my soul.

And yet, there is also a sadness also. The question of "why" and "how" fill my mind. I think now into the future- maybe 20 or 30 years. Could anything change how I feel about this little angel asleep in my arms? Could she do anything that would completely alter how I feel about her? The fear lurks in the back of my mind as the tentacles of rejection sweep over me.

Then I look into the face of Jesus and I envision Him looking into my face. I am His child. There is nothing I could ever do either intentional or un-intentional that would ever make him turn his back on me.

It is as I gaze into the love of my Saviour that I know with all certainty that the answer is no. With my heart and mind totally given to God- the love for my daughter will not wane. I will not turn my back on her. I will not abandon her. She is given to me by God and He expects me to be the parent to her that He is to me.

Big Changes

It is always amazing to me to feel the presence and peace of God over the really big changes or decisions that come into your life. For me, it has not always been easy so I mark that as spiritual growth.

Soon, there will be ALOT of changes for the Agbovi family. I have had moments of trepidation and nervousness, but overall just an overwhelming sense of peace. I look forward to documenting those changes on my blog because although acceptance has been a form of growth, actually walking through the changes will be the bigger battle.

My Rock and My Fortress

Psalm 18:2

2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I was reminded this week of an old haunting fear of mine. One that has plagued me for years. The kind of fear that is based unfortunately in reality and yet God delivered me from many years ago.

It is amazing how many emotions I felt rush back. Things like survivor's guilt, panic, peace and an overwhelming thankfulness. Yes, all those emotions at once.

Thankfully the peace, the joy and the love of Christ was able to rule over any hint of this old fear taking hold of me again. That is because of Christ. He has rescued me, He has set my feet upon solid ground. Given me a relationship with Him, a relationship with my husband, friends and a church that is like a fortress around me.

I think this week I had a glimpse of the past so that once again I am able to rejoice in the present and the future.

Halloween

Last night was Halloween and although I wasn't that interested in any preparation, Emmanuel came home with about 5 bags of candy. So after dinner we filled up a bowl and prepared for the neighborhood kids. Little did we know that due to the safety and closeness of our neighborhood we would be inundated with kids!!!! We are in the kind of area that people drive to for trick or treating.

So thanks to our kind neighbor who loaned us some of her candy...we made it until the end of the night. We had alot of fun and it inspired us to dress up for next year and be a little more prepared.

Little by little we fall more and more in love with Ohio and specifically with our cute little neighborhood!

Christmas

I think one of the ramifications of me being home for one week is the strong desire to decorate for Christmas! It doesn't help that I have been doing all my shopping early, wrapping the presents as they arrive in the mail and working on Christmas cards.

Is October too early to get out the tree???

Pain Scales

Sorry for another medical posting but this one is kind of funny. I want to petition for a nationally recognized pain scale and here is my story of why.

I call the nurse on Tuesday to tell her I am having contractions and she tells me to rate my pain on the 1-10 scale. So I say to her, "Well I know labor is going to be 10 times worse than this, but based on the pain I have experienced so far I would rate this at a 7"

I get to to labor and delivery at the hospital and they ask me to rate my pain. The nurse says, "On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being surgery with no anesthisia". "Well with that kind of scale I would have to say a 1!" Surgery with no anesthisia are you kidding me.

Next day I go see my Dr. who asks me again to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. "Well I said, I would say a 2. Mostly just bad cramps with an occasional doubling over to hold my stomach". "That doubling over is a 10!" says my Dr.

Seriously...the pain scale is ALL messed up!!

To the OBGYN who does not know me

Dear Dr. I have never met,

I understand that you do not know me. I understand that I am sitting in your office with a wedding ring on my finger but no husband beside me. But please, can you assume that I am happily married? Your questions about my sex life insinuating that I am sleeping around is just offensive! Like an 8 month pregnant lady, dressed in her work clothes has a second job on a street corner somewhere.

Now I am sure you see all kinds of women who have apparently jaded you to be the way you are. But seriously, there are nice girls out there!! Find some joy in having one in your office!

Until you learn to re-phrase your offensive question, the answer is yes. Yes, I am only sleeping with one man. To expound on your question, the answer is yes. Yes, I only plan on ever sleeping with one man. Put that in my chart for next time.

A good marriage

Today was a huge blessing at church. An older couple came and were guest speakers in our Sunday school class and I instantly fell in love with them! They did such a great job sharing some of the ups and downs they have encountered over the last 35 years of their marriage and parenting, yet when asked to rate their marriage the wife resoundly said "It's a 10 and getting better"! How can you not look up to a couple who has a marriage like that?

Taxi's

If you know me really well you probably already know I am not a big fan of public transportation. It isn't that I am a snob...it is that I don't like someone else being in charge of my transportation. I would much rather drive myself thank you very much.

But this week in DC I was reminded of the limited taxi experiences I have had, and added a few more memories for the taxi memory bank.

I needed to take a taxi to go visit my Togolese Aunt and Uncle. The ride there was mostly without anything note worthy although I think my nervousness must have shown and he cheated me on the money situation. I confirmed the cheating on my return way home...next time driver from Ethiopia you are not cheating me an extra $3!

On the way back my Aunt and Uncle insisted on walking with me and helping me hail a taxi. Now the whole "hailing a taxi" thing has always been problematic for me. I remember the very first time I tried was with my sister Holly in DC and we ended up in fits of giggles because we apparently had not watched/payed attention enough to the movies. Took us FOREVER to get one...

This week I wanted to giggle SO bad because my Aunt's style of hailing a taxi was to raise her arm and hiss. Yes, HISS!! Like something between a snake and a cat! Hilarious! Especially since their windows are rolled up and there was no way the drivers would hear her.

Here is me in my taxi ride with the cheating driver. :) Yeah I guess the look on my face is nervousness...

Trains, Planes and Automobiles!

We had a little of everything this weekend but here is the train coverage.

I have always thought that trains would be the ideal way for me to travel. Someone else is driving, you are not in the sky, easy on and off. And I think I am right. This weekend we did a girl day trip on the Cuyahoga Scenic Valley Railroad and it was so pleasant! The train made me want to go to sleep it was so peaceful and relaxing.

Here are a few pics from our excursion on the train.

Me

It has been a while since I put a picture of me on here....This is me almost 30 weeks pregnant. Trying to look professional for my work day. :)

God Chicks - Remake

This post is for my friends in the San Diego small group! I suggested to my small group of Young Professional women here in Ohio that we use the God Chicks book for our next study. They got a little interested so I ran into the basement, pulled out my copy and came upstairs to pass it around.

As I was thumbing through it I found notes from when we did it together over 2 years ago. E-mails from Jane, Dilenna, Summer. Notes to myself on what we were going to talk about that week.

I also came across our "brainstorming" session on what I am assuming was the "party chick" chapter. If you remember, we were sitting outside the coffee shop and all discussing things we would like to do, but apparently never had the courage to try.

As I was getting ready to hand the book around to my new small group, I had to start laughing out loud as my eyes fell to the list of suggested activites. Right there as the top two were "Pole Dancing and Sexy Photo Shoot". I don't think my current group of single ladies would have quite understood that list!!!

Man did I get a good laugh. I sure do miss you ladies!

The Little Things

I realized yesterday that Emmanuel and I have reached that point in our lives where the littlest things make us very happy. Not that we are bored, ignorant or lazy, but finally we are at a place where we can appreciate all that is going on around us.

We are having a blast with our yard work, we got all excited to see a new road opened up on our way to church, and our color choice in the dining room is finally okay with me!

I went to sleep last night thanking God that He has blessed us with a lot of peace. We had to put in hard hard work to get here, but we are really enjoying life right now. Here are some pics to show you.



Me at 29 weeks pregnant with Olivia



Eman's landscaping project this year



Eman watering his grass with our broken hose at 6:30 am this morning

Straight Paths

This morning I had a collage of reading, thoughts and prayers going through my mind. I started reading my new Christian woman book, jumped to Hebrews 12, then finished with the Holly Wagner devotional we are using in our small group tomorrow night.

The theme from all three was running. Several of my friends are running in races this year so I am currently surrounded with mileage, updates, countdowns, weight loss!

Even though I can't run right now- this morning I was very blessed. Hebrews 12 says this " Make straight paths for your feet". Interesting to me that this implies we have a choice. A defeatist attitude would say that the path is stretched out before us and we are plodding along day by day.

The word "Make" means we have creation, inspiration, power right here in our hands. God doesn't say follow the path. He doesn't say endure your path, he says make your path! "strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees".

Today these words are reverbrating in my head. My path is my own and with the help of God's word, God's Holy Spirit and my Christian community what I create will be a beautiful thing.

Quiet morning

As a result of being pretty sick on Monday- we decided not to do our three mile walk before work this morning. But I still woke up at 5:30am wide awake and refreshed.

I came downstairs in my bathrobe and while my coffee was brewing I started my new Bobbie Houston book, "I'll have what she is having". I have been eyeballing this book for about a year because of the Hillsong podcasts Emmanuel and I love to listen to. A couple of weeks ago I broke down and ordered it- knowing it would be a refreshing Christian supplement to my Harry Potter marathon!

It always blesses me to read encouraging testimony from women who are leaders in the churches, communities and families. First chapter down and several more to go!

How to Study the Bible

"I bet none of you were jumping up and down with excitement when you found out the topic of discussion!" Said our new Sunday School teacher last week.

Honestly- no. I was not thrilled. My first thought if I am honest with myself was "Who wants to hear two sermons in one morning!"

But pleasantly not only did God work on my heart a little bit, I really enjoyed the topic once we arrived and engaged. If I open my mind to the why and how of how to study the Bible, I am convinced I will learn something. (obviously)

So with a refreshed attitude I look forward to the coming week and the challenge to read my Bible once a day. Today I feasted on 1John chapter 1.

New Design

It is always fun to try or get something new. There is a feeling of cleanness, of excitement, of inspiration. Probably a false sense of starting over with the proverbial clean slate.

Later on in my life, I had to recognize that this emotional rush can be a deadly addiction. As a child and young adult I was never taught how to engage in healthy relationships. There was always a sense that if things didn't work out, you cut that person out of your life or you relocated physically. Although you had the excitement of new things, I have to admit that there was always a hidden sense of pain. I am reminded of the "Golden Compass" and the use of cutting to remove your soul from your body. Life without a healthy perspective on friendship and family can result in the same torn fragments.

It has taken me many years but I have come to learn what healthy interaction looks like. Sometimes you don't agree, sometimes you have opposing views, sometimes you are on the same wave length. Such is life and life is meant to be lived, not constantly run away from.

So although I have several "new" things in my life right now, I cherish the "old". The safety and security that comes from knowing you worked hard at a relationship brings abundant peace.

Coming Soon

Daughter of Eden's Eve will be under construction this week. :) I may try out several templates to see which one actually goes with the re-design I have in mind. Hopefully a fresh look will re-charge my brain to write something reflective and inspirational.

Central Log to my Internal Fire

One thing I love about our church here in Ohio is the preaching. Most of the sermons resonate with me to the point of reflection the rest of the week.

Last Sunday was such a sermon. Although I can barely do it justice, I can write about my thoughts concerning it.

Our Pastor spoke on the importance of keeping Christ at the center. He used an illustration of a starter log for a fire. Everything is built around it but for many of us, that central nerve is something other than what it should be.

A profound observation; "If you touch someones central log, and it is not Christ, be prepared to battle unforgiveness from that person. Whatever is at their center will be the forbidden area". PARAPHRASE

I thought about areas of sensitivity in my own life that might point out things that I put above Christ. Although I can say the list is shorter than it once was, there are still things I had to admit to. Mainly my job. If someone criticises my work or thinks I made a judgement error, it just sends me into a tizzy. This week I am focused on giving that area of my life to Christ and asking him to be over it.

Speed Reading

"Wow, said Emmanuel. You are sure going through that book fast!"

Referring to the first Harry Potter book that Mary was reading in bed. As Emmanuel jumped into bed next to her, she started showing him tips on how she speed reads novels.

"See, says Mary, I basically let my eyes scan to see who is talking first, then I just pick up the gist of the paragraph before moving onto the next. I basically skip the descriptors of moods, tones, backgrounds. I can gather what I want from what the person actually says."

"I think I would actually enjoy reading if I could learn how to do that." Says Emmanuel

The next night they were laying in bed together again, this time just talking. The topic of conversation was about the upcoming weekend and Mary hosting a get together for the women in her Sunday School Class.

" I only have 5 women coming and 2 of them are actually from work." says Mary. "The one lady I invited sits next to me and I realized after Easter weekend that we go to the same church." As Mary started to launch into the story of how exactly she figured this out, Emmanuel interrupted her. "So you only have 5 girls coming?"

"Hey, said Mary, I was trying to tell you a story here! It isn't nice to interrupt me."

Eman, with a straight face but a twinkle in his eye replied, "I was practicing my speed reading technique."

Floods of Feelings

I concur that currently my emotions are a bit haywire...but I am overcome with a sadness pending some news we got this week. A couple we are close with are divorcing. We have shared many things, joy, pain, Holidays together. All that will be lost with the family now torn apart.

Mainly I grieve for the loss. Loss of security, loss of belonging, loss of communication and friendship for this family. It brings a flood of emotions and feelings that I can't quite shake. Memories of my parent's divorce and the aftermath of destruction. Even as an adult the pain of divorce is vivid.

With little Olivia on the way my mind is consumed with the environment I want to bring her up in. Mainly there are two key ingredients for me. God and Love. I want her to know what a real relationship with God is and I want her to see His love evident in how Emmanuel and I treat each other.

I pray this day for a special blessing over my marriage- for the journey I am committed too and the family I want to build.
I also pray this day for our friends...that they would recommit their relationship and family to God.

Theory on frozen water

For the most part Emmanuel and I have managed to blend our lives together in such a way that I rarely notice any cultural differences between us. It seems natural at this point to eat African food, or hear countless phone conversations in a mixture of French/Ewe. Talking with my Mother-in-Law is the same sentence of " Hello, I love you" repeated over and over..

You know- normal stuff like that.

But every once in a while I am thrown for a curve. Like yesterday. I was enjoying a nice glass of green tea with ice. Before I got pregnant I really didn't use ice in my drinks- but now I love it. Emmanuel has been making comments about the ice, but I thought he was linking it to my burping problem and I didn't pay him any attention.

Yesterday the truth came out when he had another Togolese to back him up. He made a comment about the ice and turned to our friend. Our friend gave him a look and said "I am not going to say it, I would get in trouble."

What is going on I asked?

Emmanuel came out with the truth. In Togo- they believe that ice makes you fat.

Insert loud laugh here!! I thought it was hilarious! Frozen water turning into fat? Bloated maybe? Cold, yes- but fat is made up of too many calories accumulating in your body and turning into storage cells called fat. Last time I checked, water was void of calories.

So unless I see some proof- I am discounting this as a lie his mother told him. Along the same lines of "If you cross your eyes they will stick that way" or "If you swallow your gum it will stick in your stomach". Theory's like that our parents tell us just to scare us. :)

And my name is "Bermuda"?

Weird vivid dream! Emmanuel and I were in a castle, getting ready for a banquet thrown by my rich Grandmother. Eman is all decked out in a tuxedo, I have on the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen.

We walk into the ballroom and they announce our names. Trumpet sounding....

Emmanuel and Bermuda.

Bermuda? I think even in my dream I was puzzled, let alone what facial expression registered in my sleep!

Haha... Crazy funny dream. Kind of a catchy alias though don't you think?

I got an "arm" from the biker!

Maybe I am the only one on the face of this planet who doesn't know this, but why did the biker give me his whole arm? I thought if you were mad at someone it was a certain finger? Hmmmm

No just teasing.... I was sheltered but not that sheltered. Well okay I was that sheltered. I have no idea what his arm was trying to tell me. I got behind him, he must have gotten nervous. He sticks out his arm, then he bends it, then I get nervous because I don't know what the crap he is trying to tell me.

Am I the only one who didn't learn the universal bike arm signals?

German Shepherd of Women

We always had German Shepherd's or some version of a GS mix growing up and without exception they were the most loyal dogs! One of their downfalls though was when it came time to leave them- whether for a couple hours or a couple days. We always would arrive home to find the food bowls overflowing and the dogs moping around waiting for our return. They refused to eat, sleep, drink or live while their family was away.

This was pretty much my weekend. Well maybe that is a slight exaggeration. I did eat. :) But I was so MOPEY with Eman gone. I really really wanted him to go- I am so glad he went and had a great boy's weekend, but man did I miss him!!! I could not fill my hours up enough to stop thinking of missing him so I just gave up and moped around the house not doing anything.

So whether that is loyalty or just selfishness I am not sure. What I can say is how much my life intertwines with his and when he is gone- I unravel a little bit. He gets home tonight and I am SO happy!

Flower Beds

They look great but note to self- next year plant in the spring and not the hottest week of the entire summer.

Busy Weekend!

So last weekend was crazy because we only had Sunday to recuperate from our vacation. This weekend was super busy as well but thank God I had enough energy to do everything I wanted to do!

I went to the Farmer's market and shopping with a friend from France all Saturday morning, my best friend Amber arrived about noon and we planted lots of flowers, went to see a movie, cooked dinner for everyone! Wow- busy day!

It was a lovely weekend though and the front yard is really starting to take shape. I will post some pictures tonight. Pretty comical to see everyone pitching in to help plant stuff!

Back to Normal

Coming back from vacation everyone is asking me-

"Did you hate to come back" or "Did you dread going back to work"?

Actually no- I was ready to come home and am enjoying coming back to work. Our vacation was AWESOME!! But vacation is not real life.

Real life is your own food, your own bed, your own schedule. And I missed all of that.

Don't get me wrong though- I am already looking at where I want to vacation next. :)

Top of the list right now is France, Togo and Greece.

Officially in my 30's

Taxi ride from our ship to the beach



Enjoying the ocean and laughing over the huge fish that swam past me!



The roaring 20's are now gone. But how can turning 30 be so bad when I did it in Freeport Bahama's?

I really enjoyed Freeport- much better than Nassau. The water was warm, the beach was awesome. There were few people and cute shops to explore. The people were really nice including our taxi driver.

Here are a couple of pics to show you how I spent my birthday. First in Freeport and then at the Captain's dinner on the ship.

It was a great vacation full of memories!





All dressed up the night of my birthday for the formal dinner.

LOTS of Confetti

So I got to work this morning and found my cubicle covered in "30" and "Mary" confetti by my co-worker. Haha...I didn't even know you could buy "Mary" confetti! I also had a flashing button for my shirt that announces the fact I am celebrating 30.

What a great way to start my vacation and my birthday week!!

Last week of my 20's

This week marks the end of my 20's. What an awesome time it has been! I would have to say it has been some of the best years and best events of my entire life so far. Here are some of the highlights I can reminisce about these last 10 years.

* Getting to College
* Getting my drivers license (yes I was 21)
* Getting my own Apartment
* Buying my first car
* Having my first real paying job (Jo-Ann Fabrics)
* Graduating
* Moving to San Diego
* Graduating again
* Getting married to the love of my life
* Moving to Ohio
* Buying our first house
* Getting pregnant with our first baby

So I am really not upset to turn 30. It will be great to see what the 30's list will look like. I expect nothing but great things!

Grass

Emmanuel is taking great pride in our lawn this year!!! I need to also get motivated and clean up the beds, mulch and plant some flowers.

International Friendship Connection

Last weekend at our church the whole atrium was set up for Global Outreach. Emmanuel and I hosted the International Friendship Connection table to get people interested in volunteering and hosting International students from nearby Kent State University.

We had a great time and got to know our neighbors quite well. They were a missionary family from Mexico and just delightful to talk with.

We are looking forward to many more events for IFC!

In Step with the Spirit

Tonight in our Young Professionals bible study we are discussing a short devotional on walking in "step" with the Spirit of God. Not rushing ahead, not lagging behind. Somehow finding that perfect timing of knowing exactly what the right thing to do is.

Doesn't that sound like you need a crystal ball?

After reading the brief article and thinking on the subject I realized that I would much rather rush ahead of God and see if things work out, then sit around and wait for a voice or thunderbolt from Heaven. But is that such a wrong viewpoint? I tend to think that if I start to pursue something, having peace as I proceed, if at one point God does not want me on that path He will make it abundantly clear.

I think it is oftentimes easier to see the wrong decision then to see the right one. I feel in life that in most areas, once you can discern blatant sin, we are faced with a multitude or right decisions. Probably all of which God will bless! We would drive ourselves crazy if we always contradict the "what if's" in life.

I also have experienced heading down a path that ended up being "wrong" only to have it lead to "right". Take for instance my decision to go to Law School in San Diego. After 7 months, I realized this was not the path for me. But I didn't regret starting down it. Instead it led me to my Graduate program that was a perfect fit for me. I would have never ended up in that program or in San Diego if I hadn't first started in Law School.

How do I know if I am "step" with the Spirit? I guess as long as I have peace, am not in sin and can see God's hand in my life then I am on the right path.

Really good Picture

We got a new camera and I thought this was a really good picture of our living room!

One Track Mindset!

I have to admit to overwhelming excitement about my upcoming cruise/30th birthday in 19 days!!!! Even though I will be 3.5 months pregnant with a slightly protruding belly, I plan on being in my swimsuit and sun hat for as much of my vacation as I possibly can.

Tonight I plan on getting the luggage out and taking stock of my current sun dress, flip flop, hat, tank tops, shorts and sunscreen stock to make sure a quick trip to Target is not in order.

What is for dinner?

So you know life has drastically changed when your husband eats 8 chocolate chip cookies and two glasses of milk for dinner on a Sunday! Well at least the chocolate chip cookies were semi-home made. Haha

On the upside- I got one bathroom and the kitchen floor cleaned!

Kentucky Derby Hats

You may or may not know this about me but I LOVE hats. I also have very fond memories of Kentucky Derby parties at my Grandparents home growing up. It was always a cross between Thanksgiving (lots of food) and Easter (pretty dresses and hats).

So this weekend- I plan on being on my comfy couch, watching the Kentucky Derby, wearing a hat just because I can!

Totally Absorbed

I have always been able to acheive a relative sense of balance in my life. Balance between home and work, between school and home, between school, work and home. You get the picture.

Lately I am wayyyyy off kilter. I am taking a step back and trying to figure out what I have actually done the last 5 weeks since finding out I am pregnant. It is practically nothing and I am sure my poor husband can vouch for that statement.

I think in the last 5 weeks I have managed to cook only two dinners, do 5 loads of laundry, scrub the shower and two toilets down and empty the dishwasher twice! My darling husband has done everything in between.

I am totally absorbed with focusing on not puking and keeping my eyes open! All I want to do is sleep!

So keep me in your prayers. My house really needs to be vacuumed, my floors need to be scrubbed, my husband needs to be fed and somehow I need to wake up and find the energy to do these things. :)

Balance- again I need some balance.

Making Mistakes

Every day as part of my morning wake up routine at work I read my I-Google homepage where I have different applications. Things like headline news, weather, a couple blogs, and quotes of the day.

Yesterday's quote really caught my attention and I knew it was worth some self reflection and a spot on my blog. Take a moment to read and re-read it.

To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all.
- Peter McWilliams

This is the epitome of my biggest character weakness. It takes ALOT of mental coaxing to propel me out of my comfort zone and into a situation where the possibility of making a mistake is imminent.

Take for instance the recent conversation I had with my husband about learning French. I am scared to learn French because there is really no way to do it without making tons of mistakes! The process would be riddled with mis-pronounced words and faux pas. So unfortunately for our family I have stubbornly not attempted it.

There are a few accomplishments in this area however that I must also mention. Things that I have conquered and forged through whatever mistakes needed to be present for the learning curve.

Scuba diving lessons and Swing Dance come to mind right away. Because unfortunately this weakness even branches into the "fun" area of my life! Sad isn't it! Someone needs to stretch me out of my comfort bubble!

Most recently this quote reaches into my newest adventure of parenting. I do have to admit that the first couple years of our marriage I was scared to death to have a baby- knowing the potential for messing up their little life is a high percentage!

But sometimes you have to look at what you want- knowing there will be mistakes made- and go for it anyway. Asking God to help you through the ever present learning curve. Asking Him to cover your mistakes with his Grace and help you learn from them.

How is my Soul today?

I mentioned in an earlier blog about how I am co-hosting a group of Young Professional Christian women twice a month. It has been a blessing in my life and a challenge to create and maintain a sense of community, love and spiritual growth.

This upcoming week we are reviewing a devotional found off of Christian Women Today and I want to answer it honestly for myself.

http://christianwomentoday.com/devotionals/daily/2828.html%20%20%20%20

Today I can say my soul is good with no reservation. I would tell you if it weren't. There are things pressing into my mind that could bring me down if I let them. I could give into fears that surround me, but so far with the help of my Lord I have been triumphant.

We all know keeping our soul's and our minds healthy is a daily thing. One thing that helps me is listening to Christian music. It brings me up from whatever is crowding in my life and elevates me straight to a place of praise and peace. Today I was listing to Caedmon's Call on my way to work (sometimes I do miss my California commute because I get to listen to like 1.5 songs here in Ohio).

Especially as women we often ask each other:

How is your diet going?
How was your shopping trip?
How was your workout?

Today- take a moment and answer this question. How is your soul?

Book Reading

I would like suggestions if you have read any good books lately. Right now I am re-reading the Twilight series and just finished Sacred Marriage.

Let me know what you have read lately!

A Second Blog

Why would I need a second blog you may ask?

Because we are expecting our first baby!!! And I will spare you the joys and pains of pregnancy talk unless you choose to read our second blog. :)

http://agbovifamily.blogspot.com/

Nicknames

All throughout my life I have seriously lacked in the cute nickname department.

When I was really little I was called "Mary Moo"
Yes- like the cow noise.

When I was a teenager one of my siblings could not say my name so I was dubbed "Minnie"
Yes- like Minnie Mouse

When I got married Emmanuel almost constantly calls me "Babe"
Yes- that one I can handle.

But lately he has taken to calling me "P-Lady"
Question? What does the P stand for? That will determine if I at all like it.

Bathroom Talkers

It is okay to greet me when I enter the bathroom and you recognize my face.
It is okay to speak with me as I wash and dry my hands.
But once I enter the stall- all chit chatting must cease. That is not the time to conduct business. The walls are there for a reason!

This is what I wish I could post in my work bathroom.

Just In Time

While getting my Masters in Global Leadership we did a lot of research for organizational development and project management. One of the presentations we did was based on Japanese business philospies of "Just in Time" and Kaizen.

The philosophy of JIT 看板 is simple - inventory is defined to be waste.

For some reason- I think this is God's MO with the Agbovi family. It seems like we never have more than we need. And when we stretch ourselves out there for big things, like a move to Ohio or purchasing our home, we always make due.

Take for instance our recent tax return. We had an obligation for X amount of money and had hoped to pay off a little extra debt with whatever was left over. How much are we getting back? The X amount.

Now my mind is still trying to wrap itself around what the spiritual possibility's of this could mean and I have yet to settle peacefully on a theory. My first reaction is frustration that my oil jar has just enough for the day's bread. I want to make a whole months worth!

Maybe God is teaching us to have faith? Maybe we aren't trustworthy enough with any extra right now? Maybe we need to be faithful during this time and soon our oil jar will run over?

Regardless of the reason- my prayer is that we go from a JIT way of life to a Kaizen 改善,. Kaizen is also a Japanese philosophy that is based on continuous improvement throughout all aspect of life.

I don't know if my business class and my spiritual life mix at all but those are my thoughts for today. I am thankful for all that God has done for us, will rejoice in my X amount of tax return and continue to serve Him with all my heart.

Would you want this to be your plane?

As I mentioned before I traveled ALOT in March. If you know me at all you know I really don't like to fly. It isn't the flying so much it is the motion sickness I often get that just leaves me feeling yucky and looking hungover!

On the way back from the East Coast my co-worker and I were laughing (trying to hide our concern) as at least 15 people gathered around the nose of the aircraft we were boarding. I just had to take a picture!

Easter through the eyes of Mary

The last few weeks at my church here in Hudson we have been going through a very interesting sermon series leading up to Easter. The title has been "Easter through the eyes of _______"

I have heard the sermon involving Pilate and Judas then next week is Peter. It has been quite interesting to get different angles of a timeless story. I have come to understand background, motives, emotions and political climate in a way that I never thought of before.

After listening to Easter through the eyes of Judas last week and thinking about the upcoming sermon, I have been placing my name at the end of this sentence. Disturbingly I haven't liked what my imagination has conjured up. If I had actually been present for that very first Easter what would my response have been?

In all honesty- I don't think I would have believed in Jesus. I know we criticize Pilate who had him standing right there before him, we look down on the disciples who understood so very little about their Saviour. But I would have been the same. I would have been a critic, thinking Jesus was probably a crazy person claiming things that were blasphemous.

Maybe- just maybe one of the miracles would have won me over. Maybe the culture would have made my thought process different than it currently is. But I think God knew I needed to be born in 1979. I needed to look back on Jesus life and see that He is the Messiah. I need to compare the old and new testament- scrutinize Jesus words throughout his whole ministry to have enough faith to walk the Christian life.

What an awesome blessing I have been given at this time- this place. God knew when he created me that Easter through the eyes of Mary needed to happen in 2009. He knew that His death would impact not only those who witnessed it but continue to reverberate through out the ages.

The days are blurring together

It is now April here in Ohio and guess what- it is snowing today. In all fairness it was up to 70 one day last week but that is now a faint memory as I watch the snow come down outside my office....

I think the master plan is to keep our house for three years and then move somewhere warmer again. :) Not California...maybe Georgia or Florida. Somewhere where it doesn't snow in April.

6 states = head cold

It seems like March has just FLOWN by and that is because of how busy I have been and how much traveling has happened. Business trip to Connecticut- then San Diego- then a family emergency that took us 700 miles from home. My body is protesting! I think this is what the nucleous of my cells are screaming "Time to get sick so it forces her to stay in one place for a while!"

It has been a great month though. I got to see lots of old friends in San Diego, even older friends in Wisconsin and Minnesota. God has really blessed me.

Spring has yet to officially arrive here in Ohio so as I look forward to crashing on my couch tonight and dreaming of my cruise to the bahamas in 2 months!

Strong Words

I was listening to some of my favorite podcasts while working out at the gym this weekend. Brian and Bobbie Houston from the HillSong Church in Sydney are some of my favorite speakers. I got to hear Bobbie Houston in person while at a Women's conference in LA and have come to love listening to her talk. She makes you laugh with her enthusiasm, like watching someone who has had too much coffee and can't stop talking!

One thing she kept on saying is resonating in my mind- even 72 hours later. She kept on referring to her chosen passage of scripture as "strong words". God has Strong Words for his people.

Sometimes in life we are faced with strong words. Words like Cancer, Infertility, Unemployment, Death. Words that you never think will be spoken to you, and then they are. Never to be taken back. They come at times when you least expect them. They hurt and they sting. They bring fear and grief.

However- I am reminded that my Father is a King. He is used to pronouncing and proclaiming. Take the best speech you have ever heard and remember the passion it stirred in you. Remember the hope you felt in your heart.

Reading the words of our King will arouse the same hope, the same passion in you. If you have had a strong earthly word spoken to you, find an even stronger word from your Father.

1 John 3:1
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

Settling In

The last couple of weeks I have noticed something about myself. I think I have finally settled into Ohio. Looking back I think last year was really really rough. New state, new home, new church, new friends, new job. Although my transient nature somewhat thrives on the new- I am finding alot of joy in the familiar and a peace with my surroundings.

This week especially two things stuck out to alert me about my new found state of mind.

We are getting more involved in our church. This week we met with leaders to volunteer in both International Student ministry and Young Professional women's group! I think holding back from comitting ourselves was fear that Ohio wasn't going to work out for us. It feels so good to be involved and using our gifts and talents for God's glory!

Second thing may seem a little weird- and no there is no Agbovi Junior on the way yet. When I left California I was given some items from my previous employer who was liquidating inventory. Two boxes of high end English baby strollers. We brought them with us to Ohio and for some odd reason I have never opened them up!

This week I was envisioning the "nursery" and decided to see what was inside those boxes. Wow..what a surprise! I found there are three beautiful strollers in those boxes. :) One pink and two neutral. Emmanuel heard me banging around upstairs so he came up and started laughing! He grabbed the pink one and started vroom vrooming around the hallways! Hopefully soon we can fill up those little strollers.

Anyway- just wanted to let you know that I am doing well here. Enjoying God's blessing on my life.

Guest Blogger- "Today is Valentine's Day"

Today is Valentine day

Yesterday my wife asked me what I’m going to be writing about today, since today is valentine day. I told her I started another topic and should finish it today.
Well, you can imagine what her advise to me is. She said: “I think you should write about valentine day.” So here is what I think about valentine day.

As a married man, I know that valentine day is very important for most women, especially to those with “soul mate.” Here is my confession. I can be a little stubborn sometimes, particularly when it comes to “Traditions.” I don’t really like the idea of having tradition, I like thing to happen spontaneously. Don’t get me wrong, I get excited everyday on my way home from work to see my beautiful wife and talk with her and just have fun together. Is that a tradition? I look forward to spending time with her, but when it comes to things that seem akin to “tradition” I’m averse, yes quite reluctant. I’ve learned quickly to please my wife in many ways for God’s glory, and I know she is grateful for that, but at the same time, I know she gets sad or maybe upset when I don’t get excited about traditions.

I decided to get energized and be prepared for some of the traditions such as putting Christmas tree together few days before “Jesus birthday”, or celebrating valentine day with passion and enthusiasm. For those of you who are thinking, what about birthday, or wedding anniversary? Those days are “a giving” which means, I do not consider those celebration days a traditional days; those days are days God has set aside and blessed. That being said, for this year valentine day, my wife and I have a reservation at a very nice restaurant at 7:00 PM. We are going to dress up very nicely and have a romantic evening for ourselves. I bought her a very nice gift from Victoria Secrets. My wife and I often spend quixotic evening together, either in our house or go out for dinner, but why today is different from the others?

Valentine day is a unique day set aside for romance sometime in the 3rd century (not by God but by people). Maybe for those who don’t usually have time to be romantic (I was once one of them), or to those who because of their jobs or geographic location do not spend time together enough!
The day was originally a pagan celebration that was renamed after two early Christian martyrs named Valentine.
Jesus did sacrifice his life for us so we can have abundant of live. So whenever you celebrate the so-called “Valentine day” remembers the love God demonstrate to the world. Valentine has many symbols, but the one that I like the most is the heart-shaped outline and the doves. These two symbols represent for me LOVE and PEACE.

We need to be thankful for every single day God has given us and treat those days with our spouse like a valentine day, day of love and peace. A healthy relationship is a blessing from God, so let us celebrate this valentine day with joy and gladness with respect that God is sovereign.
Here we go!!! Have a Happy valentine! Emmanuel Agbovi

More patience than I!

So I am not going with any of the three suggested topics in my previous blog because I just wanted to quickly brag on my husband for a few minutes. There are so many good qualities that make me adore him...even after being with him for 4 years, but yesterday it was his patience that made me giggle.

We had rented some movies from the Redbox- for those of you who don't know what that is, it is a movie vending machine located at various gas stations and grocery stores around my community. For $1 a night you can select a movie from a touch screen.

Well we had two to take back and wanted to rent a new one- so we stopped at the local gas station. Eman wanted to drive me because it had started to snow- but insisted on wearing his Adidas shorts and tennis shoes!

So we get the Redbox- snow is coming down and the machine is broken. I first attempt to get a movie and after two attempts I give up and go to the car. Eman however, standing in his shorts mind you, attempts for AT LEAST 15 minutes to get the darn thing to vend a movie. I see him using two hands...one to get the mouse over the right movie and the other to quickly select the movie. You would think he was performing brain surgery with the intensity he was working!! I was cracking up in the car and had to both take a picture and show you the patience of a saint that is my husband.

I love that perseverance in him and it spreads throughout his life. Whether it is our marriage, his job, his home, his friendship, he has taught me so much about patience. It is amazing what we have learned from each other and I am so thankful to have him in my life.

Avoidance

Apparently I either have had too much to blog about or not enough. To let you in on a little secret...it has been the too much option.

Blogging is like having a best friend- if you let too much time go buy, catching up just takes a while.

So now I am faced with various topics...I think the titles could be one or all of the following.

"Yeah right I could be a mayor!"
"Valentines Surprise"


We will see which one I end up blogging about. :)

Layer vs. Pile

It is probably only fitting that at some point in this LONG winter, I reflect on my spiritual health using the snow metaphor. It has been snowing for several months now and it finally came to me.

(For those of you who are in California and can not visualize my analogy, I have pictures for you! But I did not take them.)

This week I was entering my garage and looked up at the beauty of layered snow on my roof. From a side view the snow piles on top of each other like a pillow top mattress. It looks so cool!



But at the front of my forgotten lawn is a huge pile of snow. No apparent beauty in my eyes other than the fact it is off the road!




Last week I hit a rough couple of days and really withdrew into myself. Poor Eman tried his best to figure out what was wrong but I couldn't communicate it to him. Everything was a jumbled pile of feelings, emotions, thoughts and prayers. I have learned at that point it is better to not say anything than to say too much.

I do better with layers. Tackling one problem at a time! But sometimes we don't get a say. Sometimes life just comes to us all jumbled and in a mess. I think God allows those times because we need Him even more. Given the option we would all choose to have a cross section of our pain to analyze. It is scientific and clean.

Thankfully the "Son" can melt both the layers and the pile if we call out to Him. :)

Long Johns

This week I was reminded of the old old old movie, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. For those of you who haven't seen it...it is worth watching on a day when you are snowed in and have lots of time to kill.

The reason I thought of it was my newfound fascination and appreciation for long underwear! I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be so thankful and grateful for one of the ugliest pieces of clothing known to mankind. Nor did I think it would be so easy to find. They were right there in the Target lingerie section although they can hardly be classified as lingerie!

So, I went from a bikini on the beaches of San Diego to long johns in the winter of Ohio...but I am happy and healthy!

Oh- my correlation to the movie is that there is a hilarious long john scene where the girls steal their cloths to wash them and the guys are left in nothing but their long underwear.. They proceed to put on a pretty great dance routine while waiting for their clothes but currently I can not find the inspiration to dance around in mine!!

Bachelor Style

Four years! That is exactly how long it has taken me to convince Emmanuel that eating his meals directly out of a pan is just not cool. I know it saves on dishes, I know it has a handle, but please please please get a plate or a bowl!

My four years of work were undone this last Sunday when our Senior Pastor spoke in our marriage class. He was relating how he and his wife differ and compliment each other in their marriage. One of the examples he used was the fact that when his wife is not home, he eats directly out of the pan. No need for a plate or bowl!

Sigh...I have no proof yet, I still see dirty plates and bowls, but I think Farberware just became the new Mikasa again.