Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Just a little too much!

There have been several times in my life where I felt that I had just a little too much on my plate to handle. This is one of those times. My already fragile emotions have been stretched to the max and I am ready for some good news. (besides totally enjoying and being enthralled with my daughter)

My last post was the pressure regarding our job situation and below are additional things going on..

1) My Uncle was in a bad car accident
2) My sister was in a car accident
3) My parents flight got canceled to come see Olivia
4) Emmanuel's nephew was shot and killed while working in a Virginia bakery
5) My employer possibly messed up my maternity leave pay
6) We got the Christmas cards/birth announcements in the mail and instead of the 100 I ordered there were only 10 in the box.

It has been something EVERY day for the last 10 and I am almost tempted to shut off my phone and snuggle with Olivia for the rest of the week.
If you call and get my voicemail..that is exactly what I have done!

Saturday, December 26, 2009


You might not know this about me, but when I am upset, I clean. So if you come to my house and it is messy that probably equals a sense of peace and calm. Reverse kind of behaviour huh?

Today- my house got cleaned. I found out on Monday that upon my return to my job, I will be without a boss. She was let go without warning or explanation on Monday. For me, this is not a good thing. She was the reason I am in Ohio and was a great boss to me. She recruited and helped transfer me here, creating a position and a place for me at my new job. She has been a great boss these two years.

I had lunch with her today and unfortunately she can not give me any reassurances about my security at this job. She was so blindsided with her own layoff that she has no clue if they are downsizing across the company or if they let her go for some other reason.

So- I came home, had a headache, drank way too much coffee and cleaned.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Calling all Princesses!

The nickname of Princess O has seemed to stick with my new baby daughter. It actually was started by some friends of ours who would call during my pregnancy and ask how "the princess" was. Now it has stuck.

Today I was reading my daily devotional and was blessed to read the following:

"When you understand that you are the loved-beyond-measure daughter of the KING, you will live your life differently. You will know your worth and not let anyone treat you less than a royal daughter. You will not abuse others or your own body...because royal princesses don't behave that way. When you understand that you are designed to serve humanity as God's princess, then you can freely give...and you have an obligation to do so.

And when you know this, you will affect the women who are in your world..who will affect the women in theirs...until eventually it will go around the globe.

You and I have an obligation to live our lives as princesses. And it is not just for us. It is so that our friends and our companions will follow us into the royal palace.

Imagine a planet in which every woman understands her worth and knows that she is the loved, irreplaceable daughter of the KING. Wow"

Holly Wagner

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Private Consultant

This time next week I will be married to a private technology consultant! Emmanuel is going out on his own and starting his own consulting company for School districts and mid to small size companies. We are praying God's blessing over this adventure. :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A sweet little face

There is a sweet cherub face staring back at me and all the emotions of being a mother intensely wash over me. A most powerful love- almost like a drug, fills my soul.

And yet, there is also a sadness also. The question of "why" and "how" fill my mind. I think now into the future- maybe 20 or 30 years. Could anything change how I feel about this little angel asleep in my arms? Could she do anything that would completely alter how I feel about her? The fear lurks in the back of my mind as the tentacles of rejection sweep over me.

Then I look into the face of Jesus and I envision Him looking into my face. I am His child. There is nothing I could ever do either intentional or un-intentional that would ever make him turn his back on me.

It is as I gaze into the love of my Saviour that I know with all certainty that the answer is no. With my heart and mind totally given to God- the love for my daughter will not wane. I will not turn my back on her. I will not abandon her. She is given to me by God and He expects me to be the parent to her that He is to me.